Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In every culture, children receive different kinds of advices from their parents. They often listen enough related to hard work. this essay will discuss the benefits and disadvantages of giving children this message.

on the one hand, continuously efforts for something is a key to success. Children are innocent and their mind are not fully developed like the elders. Parents want to see their children at higher position in future and well-developed personality. For example, if a children do not focus on their studies, and leaves that subject, they do not get better career and they also failed in practical life. Therefore when children want to work on anything consciously, they achieve success.

on the other hand, trying to achieve something create anxiety in children. some kids have lower mental abilities, they are unable to solve difficult things. apart from that, parents give pressure on their children. this can lead to stress and depression among children. for example, a students is week in english, they can improve themselves but due to little mental ability, they face difficulties. as a result, consistent pressure on children cause anxiety.

in conclusion, consistent hard working is vital in life for success. this because parents advice their children because they want better future. conversely, continuous pressure on children create anxiety. this provide a unsafe environment in which they are not obtain and follow their own wishes. this create difficulties between parents and their children. so that, parents should focus on children mental level and give them choice to follow their own interests.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and give a relevant conclusion: hard work can lead to success, while pressure may cause anxiety and limit children’s choices. The examples about studying and difficulty with English help illustrate these points. However, the advantages are more clearly connected to the message than the disadvantages: the discussion shifts from being told that effort can achieve anything to parental pressure and children’s abilities, without fully explaining when this message itself becomes harmful. Some claims, such as children having “lower mental abilities,” are also broad and need careful qualification. To strengthen the response, explain both the benefits and risks of the message directly, and develop each with a specific cause-and-effect example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “on the one hand,” “on the other hand,” and “in conclusion” make the main stages easy to follow. Within paragraphs, however, connections are sometimes mechanical or unclear. For instance, “Therefore when children want to work on anything consciously, they achieve success” does not follow precisely from the preceding example, and “this” in the conclusion has an unclear reference. Some ideas also repeat, particularly the links between pressure and anxiety. Improve progression by making each sentence build explicitly on the previous one, using clearer references and fewer repeated summary statements.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “success,” “personality,” “stress,” “depression,” and “interests.” There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “practical life” and “mental abilities,” though some are imprecise or unnatural in context. Noticeable word-choice, word-form, and spelling errors sometimes make the reader pause: “advices,” “continuously efforts,” “week in english,” and “unsafe environment” do not express the intended meanings accurately. The vocabulary is also repetitive, especially around “children,” “pressure,” and “success.” Build a more reliable range by learning common collocations and checking spelling and word forms, while choosing precise terms rather than broad or potentially misleading descriptions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including conditional and cause-and-effect structures, as in “if a children do not focus on their studies” and “this can lead to stress and depression among children.” This gives the response some structural variety, but errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence boundaries occur throughout and can make ideas less clear. Examples include “their mind are,” “a students is,” “consistent pressure … cause,” and the sentence fragment “this because parents advice their children.” Capitalisation after full stops is also inconsistent. Work on matching subjects and verbs, singular and plural nouns, and complete sentence construction. Editing each sentence for these patterns would make your meaning more consistently clear.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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