Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In some culture, children are often told that they can succeed in anything if they are hard working. The advantage of giving children this message is that it encourges them to do better and the disadvantage it might create competition among children.

The merit of messages like these create a sense of reponsible in children which made them work harder and stay determined. These messages are usually effective when children find themselve in an environment or system they are not familair with,because of what they are being told in their society. They tend to say determined and hardworking to achieve whatever they want without the help of anyone. For instance, When i was young i was sent to a boarding house. Which was filled with people have never met before, however because of what i was told in my society i was able to adapt, work hard and eventually became one of the brilliant student among my pairs.

The dismerit is that it might create competition among children. If children from different culture are been told they can achieve anything if they work hard. because the children have same mindset so they might be working towards same goal. Thereby creating competition among them

For instance. in my class room we are twelve in numbers. And everyone of us came with mimdet of achieving anything we want and this bring compe

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address both sides of the question: you explain that the message can encourage determination and describe competition as a possible disadvantage. The boarding-school example gives some support to the benefit, but the disadvantage is only briefly explained, and the final classroom example is cut off at “this bring compe…”, so its point is not completed. The response also does not reach the required 250 words, which limits how fully you can develop and support your ideas. To strengthen the response, explain when hard work may not be enough to achieve a goal, and develop how competition could affect children—for example, through stress or discouragement. Finish with a clear concluding statement that weighs the two effects.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic structure, with an introduction followed by a paragraph on the advantage and one on the disadvantage. Signposting such as “The merit” and “The dismerit” helps readers identify the two sides, and examples are introduced. However, progression is limited: the disadvantage paragraph ends abruptly, and the final example does not reach a complete point. Some links are awkward or unclear, such as “because of what they are being told in their society,” while “For instance” is separated from the sentence it introduces. Use complete paragraphs with a clear topic sentence, explanation, and example, and connect each step with accurate, varied linking phrases. A short conclusion would also give the response a more complete overall progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a small range of relevant vocabulary, including “determined,” “hardworking,” “adapt,” and “competition,” which allows you to communicate the main ideas. However, the range is limited and several word choices or forms are inaccurate, sometimes making meaning less clear. Examples include “a sense of reponsible” and “brilliant student among my pairs”; these do not express the intended ideas naturally. Spelling errors such as “encourges,” “familar,” and “mimdet” are also noticeable. Build a more precise vocabulary for discussing achievement and its effects, and check spelling and collocations carefully. For instance, use “a sense of responsibility” and “one of the top students in my class” to express these ideas more naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including a conditional structure beginning “If children from different culture are been told…”. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries can make parts difficult to follow. For example, “The merit … create” has a subject–verb agreement problem, “which made them work harder” shifts tense, and “Which was filled with people have never met before” is an incomplete sentence with a faulty clause. The final sentence is also unfinished. Practise building complete sentences around one main clause, then add subordinate clauses with accurate verb forms. Check singular and plural agreement and use full stops to avoid fragments.

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