Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In few cultures, parents tell their children to work hard to aquire their dreams. This essay will discuss both benefits and drawbacks of such messages to the children.

The two main advantages to make children exposed with motivational phrases. Children knows what they are capable of then they make them more competative. When children well know that they can achieve whatever they want with their dedication then it might be a positive impact on their future. For example, A children is told to study hard to get a better job in the future. Eventually, got a good position in a organization.

Secondly, some children may feel overwhelming because of hight demand. When children face to much demand in early age their personal development takes negative direction, also health problem might be face like a stress, depression and others cognitive probelms. For example, a parents mentioning about a better score in the result. May affect children growth, eventually fail in the exam.

In conclusion, parents job is to guide and tell their children how to be a great person in the future, but continues encouragement and demand might affect their health. Therefore, parents should not force children much for anything.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both sides of the question: the first body paragraph presents motivation and future success as benefits, while the second explains that excessive expectations may harm children’s wellbeing. The examples about studying for a better job and pressure to achieve a high score are relevant. However, the discussion is limited and the ideas are not fully explained; for instance, the link between encouragement and becoming “more competitive” is unclear, and the disadvantages paragraph shifts quickly from stress to failing an exam. Your conclusion gives advice to parents, but your overall position on the advantages and disadvantages could be stated more clearly. The response is also 51 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to develop and support your points.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for benefits and drawbacks, and a conclusion. “Secondly” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the essay. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow. The opening of the first body paragraph, “The two main advantages to make children exposed with motivational phrases,” does not clearly introduce the point, and the example that follows is not smoothly connected to the claim about competitiveness. Some linking is mechanical, and the conclusion introduces parental guidance without clearly drawing together the two sides discussed. Make each paragraph’s main idea explicit, then explain it and connect the example directly to it.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “dedication,” “personal development,” “stress,” and “depression,” so the reader can understand the general ideas. However, the range is limited, and several inaccurate word choices or spellings make parts of the response awkward or unclear. Examples include “aquire their dreams,” “more competative,” “hight demand,” and “cognitive probelms.” Phrases such as “a better score in the result” and “a great person” are also imprecise in context. Aim to learn common collocations for education, expectations, and wellbeing, and check spelling carefully. More precise vocabulary would help you explain the effects of encouragement without relying on broad or repetitive wording.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a conditional idea in “When children face to much demand in early age…” and a result clause beginning “Eventually.” However, sentence structures are often faulty, and errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. For example, “Children knows what they are capable of then they make them more…” has problems with subject–verb agreement and clause construction, while “Eventually, got a good position” is a sentence fragment. There are also errors with articles, plurals, and verb forms, as in “A children” and “a parents mentioning.” Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check agreement and article use. Greater control of these basics will make your ideas easier to understand.

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