Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In some traditions, children are often led that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. Although it is correct, there are both advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message.

There are some advantages regarding trying hard for achievements. Initially, if young learners are told that they can be succeeded anything if they work hard, it can motivate them to achieve their goals. When they get motivation, they become eager to achieve their destination. At the same time, it could lead them develop their confidence. For example, children who has to struggle in calculating maths, if they are being told and guided several times, later on, they will do it regularly and gradually improve their grades.

On the other hand, it could lead to some disadvantages. Firstly, it may cause unnecessary pressure. For some children who cannot handle stress, if they are being told to try hard for many times, as a result, they might be afraid of failure, and it can affect their mental well being. As an example, they will consider that the only way to achieve their goal is to study excessive amount of time. Sometimes, due to some external factors, if they cannot perform well in their exam, they might not have targeted score. In that case, they will feel pressure, depressed and afraid of trying again. Consequently, they lose their confidence and motivation at the same time. As a result, if affect their mental health.

In conclusion, even though there are both upsides and downsides, it is the responsibility of the adults to guide the children accurately. Although it can boost their confidence, they should realize that sucess also depends on individual abilities, and it does not matter to make mistake.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the question and gives a clear overall position: the message can build motivation and confidence, but may also create pressure and harm children’s wellbeing. The examples about improving at maths and feeling distressed after an exam make the discussion relevant. However, some points are more fully explained than others. The advantages paragraph mainly develops motivation and confidence, while the disadvantages paragraph gives a fuller chain of consequences. The conclusion adds the useful qualification that success also depends on individual abilities, but this idea is not explored in the body. To strengthen the response, explain more precisely when encouragement is helpful and how adults can balance effort with realistic expectations.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. The contrast between the two sides is easy to follow, and examples are placed alongside the relevant points. However, progression within sentences and between ideas is sometimes mechanical or unclear. Phrases such as “At the same time,” “As a result,” and “Consequently” occur repeatedly, and the sequence in the disadvantages paragraph becomes difficult to track, particularly around the exam example and its effects. Some references are also unclear, as in “As a result, if affect their mental health.” Use fewer formulaic connectors and make each cause-and-effect link explicit; this would make the argument flow more smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses enough vocabulary to discuss motivation, achievement, pressure, and wellbeing, including relevant terms such as “confidence,” “failure,” and “mental health.” There are also attempts at more specific phrasing, such as “external factors” and “targeted score.” However, several word choices and collocations are unnatural or imprecise, which makes parts of the argument less clear: “achieve their destination,” “succeeded anything,” and “study excessive amount of time” are examples. Spelling errors such as “sucess” are noticeable, and “make mistake” is not expressed naturally. Build a more reliable range of common academic collocations and check spelling and word forms; this will improve precision without requiring unusually advanced vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The essay attempts both simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional clauses and sentences explaining consequences. This allows the writer to express relationships between effort, achievement, and pressure. However, control is inconsistent, especially in longer sentences with several clauses. Examples include “they can be succeeded anything,” “children who has to struggle,” and “it can lead them develop their confidence.” There are also errors in articles, agreement, and sentence construction, as in “study excessive amount of time” and “As a result, if affect their mental health.” These errors sometimes make the intended meaning harder to follow. Practise building complex sentences around one clear main clause, then check verb forms, agreement, and articles before adding further clauses.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.