Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In some countries or cultures parents tell their children that if they try hard work for their goals they can achive it. There are both advantages and disadvantages to this message because it can encourage a lot of children or demotivate them, which can be harmful to them.

This message has great advantages for everyone. They become so motivated to do anything. Children become so much determined to achieve their goals. They work hard with all their soul to fulfill it. In history or in our present time, it seems that those who become successful are influenced by this message. This message is the seed of success. It inspires us to be more punctual and more productive in our own area, such as the job sector or the educational sector. These things help a person to build a great character to play a great role in developing a nation.

On the other hand, it demotivates someone who tries hard but fails every time. It creates frustration for them. They feel they are nothing but a burden to society. They give up all their hopes. Some of them choose the wrong path. They get involved in crime and make their lives hell. Most of the teenagers at our age are blamed by their own family members. Because their parents always say that you need to be hard to make your dream come true, but when they become losers, they never get support again, so this makes them so frustrated, and then they dicide ot give up on their lives. At present, 60% of young people are suffering, and 25% decide to commit suicide because of it.

In conclusion, this message looks like a medicine tablet. It has a lot of advantages, but if it fails, then it becomes a disaster for millions of youth. On the one hand, it helps to succeed in life; on the other hand, it is the reason of lossing of thousand of life .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and maintain a clear overall view: the message can motivate children, but may also cause distress when they do not succeed. The advantages paragraph gives relevant outcomes, including determination, productivity and contribution to society. The disadvantages paragraph also explains a possible chain from repeated failure to frustration and giving up. However, some claims are asserted rather than developed: for example, the statements that young people turn to crime or that many consider suicide need careful explanation and support. The conclusion repeats the contrast but does not clarify when the message is helpful or how adults could present it more realistically. Develop these points with specific, balanced reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. The contrast is easy to follow, and signposts such as “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” help guide the reader. This coherent structure is a strength. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, with repeated references to “this message” and repeated use of “they” whose referent is not always clear. The long sentence beginning “Because their parents always say…” contains several linked ideas and would be easier to follow if divided and connected more precisely. The conclusion also repeats the earlier contrast rather than drawing the discussion together. Vary referencing and use clearer links between cause, consequence and example.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including relevant terms such as “motivated,” “determined,” “frustration,” and “productive.” There are also attempts at more expressive language, such as “the seed of success” and “make their lives hell.” However, several word choices and collocations are unnatural or imprecise, including “try hard work,” “work hard with all their soul,” “be hard to make your dream come true,” and “reason of lossing of thousand of life.” Spelling errors such as “achive,” “dicide,” and “lossing” also reduce accuracy. Aim for natural, precise phrases and check spelling carefully; this will make your argument sound more controlled and appropriate for an academic essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, and most of the main ideas remain understandable. For instance, the opening uses a conditional idea, while the disadvantages paragraph attempts to explain consequences through a longer sentence. However, some grammatical errors affect clarity and control. In “They work hard with all their soul to fulfill it,” the pronoun reference and singular/plural agreement are problematic; “they never get support again” also shifts awkwardly from the earlier general statement about parents. The sentence beginning “Because their parents always say…” is a fragment, and the following sentence joins several clauses without clear punctuation. Practise building complex sentences with clear subjects and clause boundaries, and check agreement, articles and punctuation.

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