Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is believed that some people motivate their children to stuggle hard if they want to acheive success in their life. However, some people argue that it would disappoint and discourage them if case of failure. I believe that advantages of encouraging the children to work hard outweigh its disadvantges.

On one hand, motivating the children in early stage of development to work hard to achieve anything is essential for their character building. This motivation would give them a path, direction and initial guidelines to follow in an approach to achieve something in their life. This trait would help them develop their career and to make their dreams come true, because struggle is the basic step to achieve anything extraordinary in life. In schools, children are instructed to work on different curricular and extra-curricular activities. The child who out-performs other students is often awarded to motivate other children that anything can be acheived through hard work.

On the other hand, telling the children that anything is achievable through hard work makes them over confident. This is because children would believe that only hard work is necessary to get something, without knowing the importance of hard work in right direction or in simple words, smart work. If they fail, it might demotivate and discourage them for doing the hard work again. A survey in a school indicated that children who prefer hard work over smart work, were comparatively less motivated than the students who prefer smart work.

In conclusion, motivating the children to do hard work is essential in their character building at early stage of development. However, the hard work without any direction would be useless and discouraging for the children.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both the advantages and disadvantages and state a clear view that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. The discussion of character-building, direction and perseverance is relevant, and the school example gives the first side some support. The disadvantage is also identified: children may become overconfident or discouraged after failure. However, this side is less fully explained, and the survey is asserted without showing how its findings support the point. The response also treats “hard work” as the central issue, while the prompt’s message that children can achieve anything could be examined more directly, including the risk of unrealistic expectations. Develop each main idea with a clearer explanation or a specific, credible example to make the response more fully supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. “On one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” make the progression easy to follow, and the central position remains consistent. Within paragraphs, ideas generally move in a sensible order, such as linking motivation to character development and then to school activities. Some connections are nevertheless mechanical, and references such as “This trait” and “This is because” could identify their ideas more precisely. The conclusion repeats the main points rather than drawing them together. Use a wider range of natural transitions and make links between claims and examples explicit to strengthen the flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range for the topic, including “character building,” “curricular and extra-curricular activities,” “over-confident,” and “demotivate and discourage.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and the meaning is generally clear. However, several spelling errors—“stuggle,” “acheive,” and “disadvantges”—reduce accuracy. Some collocations and word choices are also imprecise: “awarded to motivate” would be more naturally expressed as “rewarded to encourage,” while “work on different activities” is vague. Repetition of “hard work” and “achieve” limits flexibility. Check spelling carefully, learn common word partnerships, and vary repeated terms with precise alternatives such as “perseverance” or “attain goals.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses with “because” and “if,” and most sentences communicate their meaning. There are some grammatical errors, however. In “if case of failure,” the conditional phrase needs a grammatical form such as “in the event of failure”; “in early stage” needs an article, as in “at an early stage”; and “the importance of hard work in right direction” also needs an article. The sentence beginning “A survey in a school indicated” has an awkward comma separating the subject from its verb phrase. Continue practising articles, conditional constructions, and punctuation, and proofread sentence patterns so that complex ideas remain accurate.

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