Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Hard work is essential key of success. There is an opinion that many cultures are often told children that they can achieve anything if they work hard. I believe that hard work helps children builds confidence and improves knowledge and skills. However, the disadvantages such as creates mental stress and fear of failure can not be ignored.

To begin with, there are several advantages of hard work. First, hard work helps children buildup their self-confidence. They become more cponfidenet and willing to try new things. For instance, a student who find mathematics dfficult can improve their performance by practising everyday and become more confident with knoeledge. Secondly, hard work improves their knowledge and skills. Regular study helps children gain knowledge and skills. They can achieve better results in examinations and may get help them get admission to good university. Moreover, children learn to never give and become better at dealing with challenges. Consequently, hard work is essential for children.

On the other hand, hardwork may also have some disadvantages. Primarily, hardwork can create mental pressure. Children may put too much pressure on themselves and they feel stressed out. This can affect their mental health. Furthermore, children may have fear of failure. Children may think that failure means they have not worked hard enough. They may also confidence after making mistakes. For example, a childs who fails in exam, despite studying hard may stop participating in competitions because of the fear of failure. As a result, hard work may sometimes affect negatively to childrens.

In conclusion, although increases mental pressure and fear of failure are the drawbacks of hardwork, hardwork contain several advantaes. I believe that children should always doing hardwork because it improving self-confidence and increasing their knowledge.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both advantages and disadvantages and give a clear overall view that hard work can build confidence and skills, while also causing pressure and fear of failure. Relevant examples, such as a student improving in mathematics and a child withdrawing from competitions after failing, help explain your points. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others: the benefits of confidence and learning are explained, while the claim that children “learn to never give” is not clarified. The response also focuses mainly on hard work itself rather than the specific message that children can achieve anything if they try hard enough. To strengthen the response, explain how that message may motivate children but can also create unrealistic expectations when effort does not lead to success.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “To begin with,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” make the progression easy to follow. This clear organisation is a strength, and examples are generally placed beside the points they support. Some linking is mechanical, however, with repeated “First,” “Secondly,” and “Furthermore,” and the conclusion largely repeats the introduction rather than drawing the discussion together. There are also moments where connections are unclear, such as “They may also confidence after making mistakes.” Use a wider range of natural transitions and make sure each sentence clearly refers to the idea before it.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “self-confidence,” “mental pressure,” “mental health,” and “fear of failure,” so the main ideas are understandable. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors reduce precision. Examples include “essential key of success,” “hardwork,” “get help them get admission,” and “affect negatively to childrens.” There are also misspellings such as “cponfidenet,” “dfficult,” and “advantaes,” which can distract the reader. Aim to use accurate, natural combinations and check spelling carefully. More precise vocabulary for the task—such as “high expectations,” “perseverance,” or “unrealistic outcomes”—would help you discuss the message itself rather than repeating “hard work.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses with “although,” “because,” and “who,” and the overall meaning is usually clear. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction. For example, “hard work helps children builds confidence” should use the base form after “helps,” while “a student who find” needs subject–verb agreement. The conclusion’s “children should always doing hardwork” and “it improving” also show problems with verb patterns. In “a childs who fails in exam,” the article and plural forms need attention. Practise checking each sentence for a clear subject and correctly formed verb, while continuing to use a mix of sentence structures.

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