Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Motivating children with positive ideas and thoughts is substantial because it encourages them to pursue their dreams in the future. In some cultures nowadays, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. Although this message has merit, it has advantages and disadvantages to children.

On the one hand, telling children that there is nothing impossible to the person who has perseverance to do something has an advantage to kids. One of these is that it motivates them to dream big and try the best they can to achieve their goals. For instance, children who receive encouraging words strive more because there are people believing and trusting in them. As a result, children tend to do their best in everything. In addition, supportive parents uplift children in times of difficult times.

On the other hand, one of the disadvantages of this is that children will feel pressured because they are aware that people have high expectations on them. For example, parents who have set high standards to their children, although their kids are incapable of doing so, tend to get depressed and demotivated to continue attaining their goals. Consequently, children who are doing their best but still do not excel in their studies, will feel exhausted and sometimes lead to mental health issues.

In conclusion, while giving encouraging messages to children build their self-confidence and learn to trust in theirselves, it can also affect them in a negative way depending on how children interpret the message. In my opinion, it is better to support the children in their future endeavors without expecting too much.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses both advantages and disadvantages and gives a clear overall view: encouragement can build confidence, but excessive expectations may harm children. The examples about striving towards goals and feeling exhausted or depressed are relevant, and the conclusion offers a balanced recommendation. This meets the core task requirements. However, the benefits are developed less fully than the drawbacks: “supportive parents uplift children” is asserted without explaining how this helps beyond the earlier point about motivation. The discussion also shifts from the message itself to parents setting high standards, so the link between telling children they can achieve anything and creating pressure could be made more explicit. Develop each side with a specific explanation of when the message helps or becomes unrealistic to reach the next level of development.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” make the progression easy to follow, while examples generally appear beside the points they support. This is a coherent structure, though some connections are mechanical or unclear. For example, “In addition” introduces the point about supportive parents without showing how it adds a distinct benefit, and “As a result” repeats the preceding idea that children try hard. The reference in “this” in the disadvantages paragraph could also be more precise. To strengthen progression, make each paragraph follow a clear point–explanation–example sequence and use linking phrases only when they express the actual relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for discussing encouragement, ambition and pressure, and the meaning is generally clear. Phrases such as “pursue their dreams,” “high expectations,” “demotivated,” and “mental health issues” show some range beyond basic wording. There are, however, several imprecise or unnatural choices that limit flexibility and precision. “There is nothing impossible to the person” is an awkward formulation, while “in times of difficult times” repeats the same idea and “future endeavors” is rather formal in this context. “Build their self-confidence” is also more natural than the wording used in the conclusion. Aim for accurate collocations and avoid repeating broad terms such as “children” and “goals” when a more specific expression would clarify the point.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex forms, including a concessive opening (“Although this message has merit”) and clauses with “because,” “while,” and “although.” Most sentences remain understandable, and the grammar does not prevent the reader from following the argument. Some errors persist in agreement, pronouns and sentence construction. For example, “giving encouraging messages to children build” should use a singular verb, and “trust in theirselves” has an incorrect reflexive pronoun. In “children who are doing their best but still do not excel in their studies, will feel exhausted,” the comma separates the subject from its verb. The phrase “although their kids are incapable of doing so” also leaves the reference of “so” unclear. Review agreement and pronoun forms, and check punctuation in longer sentences.

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