Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In the contemporary world where humans are perfoming as robots the adults and childs are facing numerous challenges it is a paramount part of human life to decide how do they want to spend their life either with smart work or hard.

I as a student and being a part of this diverse culture living in the south asian region many of us are taught to work hard to get anything. It has lasted a massive impact on childrens lifes. However, childrens are the basic unit of the society and are been considered as the future of any nation.

childrens in this modern world where artifical intelligence is emerging are facing numerous challenges, for instance, children often think how will the earn in this world to meet the basic necessities of life. In this diverse world childrens are told to work hard instead of working smart.

There are several advantages and disadvantages of this upbringing a child with a mind set that working hard will asist you to get anything resulting anxiety, and mental illnes in childrens. There is a result of galip survey that caught my eyes showing that in Pakistan every third children is facing mental disorders in our country. Thus, how could we teach our children to work hard only without teaching them the importance of gaining practical experiences in real world.

consequently, I came to resolve that teaching childrens to work hard will not assist this society to secure their future. we have to teach them how crucial is to gain practical expriences in real world by smart work.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response takes a broadly relevant position: it questions the message that hard work alone guarantees success and argues that children also need practical experience and “smart work.” However, the task asks for both advantages and disadvantages, and the essay mainly discusses possible harm, such as anxiety and mental illness. The potential advantage—that this message may encourage effort, confidence, or persistence—is not explained. The discussion also shifts toward hard work versus smart work, which does not fully address whether children can achieve anything if they try hard enough. The survey reference is not clearly connected to the claim. To strengthen the response, explain at least one benefit and one drawback, then support each with a clear example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation: the response moves from an introduction to cultural context, then to disadvantages and a concluding view. Linking expressions such as “However,” “Thus,” and “consequently” signal relationships between ideas. Nevertheless, the progression is not consistently clear. The opening introduces several themes—modern life, robots, and choosing hard or smart work—without establishing how they relate to the question. The second paragraph repeats that children are told to work hard, while the final paragraph restates the preference for practical experience rather than developing a balanced conclusion. Paragraphing is present, but ideas within paragraphs sometimes run together. Use a clearer structure, with separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and make each linking phrase express a precise relationship.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response attempts a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “numerous challenges,” “basic necessities,” “mental disorders,” and “practical experiences.” These choices show an effort to discuss children’s wellbeing and future prospects. However, spelling and word-choice errors are frequent enough to make some phrases difficult to interpret, as in “perfoming,” “artifical intelligence,” “galip survey,” and “assist you to get anything.” Some expressions are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “the basic unit of the society” and “working hard only.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. More precise terms such as “perseverance,” “unrealistic expectations,” and “develop practical skills” would help express the argument clearly without relying on repeated references to hard and smart work.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The essay attempts both simple and more complex sentences, including a sentence beginning “There are several advantages and disadvantages…” and one using “for instance.” However, complex structures are often difficult to follow because of errors in sentence formation, agreement, and verb forms. For example, “how do they want to spend their life” is an indirect question and should use statement word order; “childrens are” and “are been considered” show problems with plural forms and verb construction. Sentence boundaries and capitalisation are also inconsistent, particularly where a new paragraph begins with lowercase “childrens.” These errors sometimes obscure the intended meaning. Practise building shorter, complete sentences first, then add subordinate clauses while checking subject–verb agreement, articles, and punctuation.

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