Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

IN MANY TRADTITIONS , IT IS BELIEVED THAT CHILDREN WHO WORK HARDER CAN GET ANYTHING .WHEREAS ADVANTAGES OF THIS GUIDANCE IS APPEALING BUT DISADVANTAEGS ARE STILL CONCERNING BECAUSE IT CAN RISK SEVERE MENTAL STRESS IF RESULTS DO NOT FALL SAME AS THIS MOTIVATIONAL MESSAGE.

TO BOOST CHILDREN MOTIVATION AND BY GIVING THEM SELF BELEIF THAT THEY CAN ACHEIVE ANYTHING IN THE WORLS FOR WHICH THEY TRY CAN BE VERY HELPFUL FOR MANY KIDS AND GIVE THEM SELF ESTEEM TO DO SIGNIFICANTLY WELL IN THEIR FAVORITE OR TARGETED AIM FOR EXAMPLE ARFA KAREEM WHO DID GOOGLE CERTIFICATION AT THE AGE OF 10 BECAUSE HIS FATHER WAS THE CONSTANT SUPPORT SYSTEM FOR HER WHO MOTIVATED HIM AND EVENTUALLY BILLGATES CALLED HER TO VISIT GOOGLE HEADQUARTERS AS AN ACHEIVEMENT.

WHERE AS DISADVANTAGE OF THIS SCHOOLING CAN BE VERY DANGEROUS AS WELL FOR INSTANCE A CHILDREN WHO IS NOT GOOD IN STUDIES HAVE BEEN TOLD THIS MULTIPLE TIME AND IF EVEN TRYING HARDER HE FALL SHORT OR FAIL IN EXAMS, HE WILL LACK CONFIDENCE AND CAN GO THROUGH SEVERE DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY AND MIGHT COMPARE HIMSLEF TO WHO PERFORM WELL AND STARTED HAVING INFERIORITY COMPLEX.

I BELIEVE, PARENTS AND TEACEHERS SHOULD MOTIVATE STUDENT TO PERFORM WELL IN STUDIES AND EXTRA CURRICULAR ACTIVITIES BUT ALSO KEEP IN MIND THAT NO ONE IS GOOD IN EVERYTHING. AND KEEP TELLING THIS AS AN MOTIVATION CAN BECOME A BIGGEST DEMOTIVATION THOSE INDIVIDUALS WHO ARE ALREADY UNDERCONFIDENT OR FAILING AFTER TRYING THEIR BEST IN SOME CERTAIN STUDY OR SPORT.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and give a clear overall view: encouragement can build motivation and self-esteem, but unrealistic expectations may contribute to anxiety or low confidence. The example about Arfa Kareem supports the positive side, while the discussion of a child who struggles academically illustrates a possible disadvantage. However, the advantages are developed mainly through one example, and the disadvantages focus heavily on academic failure rather than considering other outcomes, such as unrealistic expectations or resilience. The final paragraph offers a relevant qualification—that children should also be told nobody excels at everything—but this point could be explained more fully. Develop each side with clearer reasoning and ensure examples directly support the claims.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an opening statement, a paragraph on advantages, one on disadvantages, and a concluding opinion. This helps the reader follow the main direction of the argument. However, connections between ideas are sometimes mechanical or unclear. For example, “Whereas advantages…” introduces a contrast awkwardly, and “Where as disadvantage…” repeats the same transition rather than guiding the reader smoothly. The long body paragraphs also combine several points without clear internal sequencing, while the final paragraph introduces advice that could be linked more explicitly to the preceding risks. Use clear topic sentences, divide complex points into shorter units, and use referencing and transitions precisely to make the progression more natural.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “self-esteem,” “motivation,” “inferiority complex,” and “severe depression and anxiety.” These choices show an effort to discuss both encouragement and its psychological effects. However, spelling errors and inaccurate word forms are frequent enough to distract, as in “TRADTITIONS,” “ACHEIVE,” “HIMSLEF,” and “TEACEHERS.” Some combinations are also unnatural or imprecise: “targeted aim,” “constant support system,” and “keep telling this as an motivation” do not express the ideas naturally. Improve accuracy by checking spelling and choosing common collocations, such as “pursue a goal” and “offer consistent support.” More precise vocabulary would make your argument clearer and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex structures, including conditional reasoning in “if even trying harder he fall short or fail in exams” and a contrast between benefits and risks. However, control is limited: sentence boundaries, agreement, articles, and verb forms are often inaccurate, and several sentences are difficult to follow. For example, “a children who is not good in studies have been told this” has problems with number and agreement, while “if results do not fall same as this motivational message” lacks a clear grammatical structure. The opening and body paragraphs also contain run-on sentences and inconsistent punctuation. Practise building accurate subject–verb patterns and separating each main idea into a complete sentence; then add subordinate clauses once the basic structure is secure.

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