Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is a fact that in some cultures, children often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. While, this messsage has some clear benefits, but also has serious drawbacks.

To begin with, there are some major advantages of this message. Firstly, they get motivation to work hard . When a children fail the exam, he try again until he get succeed. he does not give up, he get courage to work hard, so he motivated himself and try again and again. He gets courage to speak and self-confidence. When someone gives him a meessage thet they can achieve anything if they try hard enough so instead to leave it they stick to their aim and belief that they can get it any cost. They get self- esteem. A child from the poor family aim to become a doctor or officer so insted of thinking he cannot do it, he work hard to attain their dream.

Moreover, disadvantage of giving this message to children is that it creates unrealistic expectation and extreme pressure on him. He thinks that the work alone, guarantee success, he work harder and if he fails he blame himself for his failure. He feels pressure so he try to do something unexpected. He blame himself and think that he did not work hard that's why he fails but the failure comes with unfourtunate. Sometime, the children ignore their talent because they were forced to become doctor so they work harder to get a seat in medical college. But the chidren is interested in arts so he ignore it and continue to work hard which can make him irritated and depressed child.

In conclusion, this message has both outcome but if the children is told to work hard to achieve thier dreams not pressurized so this messsge significance far better than disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and give a relevant overall view: the message can encourage persistence and confidence, but may also create pressure and unrealistic expectations. The examples of a child retrying after an exam failure and a child pursuing medicine despite preferring art help make the advantages and disadvantages concrete. This coverage is relevant, but some points are more fully explained than others. For instance, the pressure and self-blame are described, yet the consequences of believing effort guarantees success could be clarified further. The conclusion offers a sensible qualification, but its position is expressed unclearly. Develop each main idea with a clearer explanation of its effects and state your final judgement more precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Sequencing words such as “Firstly” and “Moreover” help signal the main sections. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because several ideas are joined in long, repetitive sequences, particularly the discussion of motivation and self-confidence. Pronouns such as “he” and “they” shift without a clear reference, and the conclusion’s “both outcome” does not clearly connect to the points above. Use shorter, more controlled sentences, make references to children consistent, and use linking expressions to show relationships such as cause and consequence rather than relying mainly on basic sequence markers.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “motivation,” “self-confidence,” “unrealistic expectation,” “pressure,” and “depressed.” However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, especially “work hard,” “courage,” and “blame himself.” Some choices and collocations are inaccurate or unclear, such as “get succeed,” “at any cost,” and “the failure comes with unfourtunate,” which make parts of the argument harder to understand. Spelling errors, including “messsage,” “insted,” and “thier,” also reduce accuracy. Build a wider set of precise expressions for persistence, expectations, and setbacks, and check spelling and natural word combinations during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a conditional idea in “When a child…,” and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction sometimes make the reader work to understand the point. Examples include “a children fail,” “he try again,” “he get,” and “the work alone, guarantee success.” The opening also combines “While” and “but” incorrectly, while several sentences run together without clear punctuation. Practise forming accurate subject–verb patterns and use a full stop when one idea is complete. Then add complex clauses gradually, checking that each clause has a clear subject and correctly formed verb.

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