Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In some societies children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough this will discuss both advantages and disadvantages og giving children this message

on the one hand one major advantage of this advice is it creat a growth mindset in childrenwhen children believe that effort leads to success they are longer affaird of faliur they learn to see the faliure not as the end but as a part of learning for example if somebody fails math exam instead of giving up he try to find another mothed to solve the problem he is more likely to study harder and try different methods As a result he became more resilient and develop the habbit of persistence which is not usually helpfull in school but thoroughout his whole life

On the other hand one major disadvantage is that this message ignore reality and make people belive to live in delulus success dose not only depend on hard work but also depend in various factor like money health and luck also for example if a children want to become ha doctor he study hard enough to get a good marks but he have no proper funding to facilitate their education or also they don't afford private college to done MBBS as a result when ge fails to achieve his dream he may feel disappointed and blame hisself but the main problem is his circumstance not his hard work

Although giving children this advice build confidence but also creat unrealistec axpectation therefor its better to encourage hard work whike also teach children about the teal world

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses both sides of the question and gives a clear overall view: the message can build confidence, but children should also learn about real-world limits. The growth-mindset point is supported with the example of a student responding to a failed maths exam by trying different methods. The discussion of financial barriers to medical education also makes the disadvantage relevant and concrete. These examples show some development, but the second disadvantage is less clearly explained: the link between encouragement, unrealistic expectations, and later disappointment could be made more explicit. The conclusion is brief and largely repeats the main points. To strengthen the response, explain each consequence more fully and make the final recommendation more precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an opening, a paragraph for each side, and a concluding recommendation. The signposts “on the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “Although” help readers follow the contrast, and the examples generally appear beside the ideas they support. However, progression within sentences and paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow, particularly in the disadvantage paragraph, where the discussion moves from hard work to funding, college access, and self-blame without clearly connecting each step. Some linking is mechanical, and punctuation does not consistently mark sentence boundaries. Use clearer topic sentences and divide long sequences into complete sentences; refer back to the central idea explicitly so the relationships between causes and outcomes are easier to track.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses some relevant topic vocabulary, including “growth mindset,” “resilient,” “persistence,” and “circumstance,” which helps express the main ideas. It also attempts to discuss abstract concepts such as success, effort, and expectations. However, spelling errors and inaccurate or awkward word choices are frequent enough to make parts of the message harder to read, as in “faliur,” “delulus,” and “unrealistec axpectation.” Some phrases are also imprecise, such as “live in delulus success,” and “proper funding to facilitate their education” is not expressed naturally. Build accuracy by checking spelling and learning common collocations, and choose precise phrases such as “have unrealistic expectations” or “face financial barriers.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

There are attempts to use both simple and complex structures, including a conditional example (“if somebody fails…”) and a contrastive conclusion beginning “Although.” However, control is limited, and errors occur frequently across sentence boundaries, verb forms, agreement, articles, and punctuation. For example, “he try to find” needs subject–verb agreement, while “he became more resilient” does not maintain the intended present-time pattern. The opening also runs several ideas together without a clear sentence boundary, and “if a children want… he study” contains agreement and verb-form problems. These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, then add subordinate clauses while checking tense consistency, articles, and punctuation.

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