Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often argued that in some cultures, childern are often told that they can get anything if they work hard. There are several factors that need to be taken into consideration when discussing the benefits and losses.

However, hard work is significant to achieve anything in the life and nothing is impossible when you try. This is the line everyone has heard once in their life. For instance, I have always heard this line since my childhood " Try, try again till you succeed." Honestly this is very true and I believe in this. When you want to get something big or even though small in the life, hard work always works. Some people are not intelligent but if they are hardworking they are able to achieve anything they want in their life.

Besides that, there are some issues as well when you try again and again for specific goal, It effects the mental health and this is very crucial for every human being. Hard work is essential but those who just kept one thing in their mind, faces many difficulties. Such as, mental stress and pressure in their mind. From my perspective these are the disadvantages but we can't ignore these because mental peace is very important for everyone and being mentally stressed has detrimental effects on human body.

In conclusion, although being hardworking has certain disadvantages, its advantages can be significant. Overall, the impact depends largely on how it is used or managed. That's why hard work is essential for every human being.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both the advantages and disadvantages, and your position is generally clear: hard work can help children achieve goals, but excessive focus on one goal may harm their wellbeing. The example of hearing “Try, try again till you succeed” gives the positive side a personal illustration. However, the discussion remains broad and some ideas are under-developed. For example, you say that hardworking people can “achieve anything,” but do not explain how this message might build persistence or confidence in children. The disadvantage is also mainly described as stress, without showing when the message could create unrealistic expectations or disappointment. Develop each side with a specific explanation or example, and make the conclusion reflect the balanced discussion more precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph on benefits, one on drawbacks, and a conclusion. Transitions such as “Besides that” and “In conclusion” help signal the direction of the discussion. However, some linking is mechanical or imprecise, and the progression within paragraphs is not always smooth. The opening promises “several factors,” but the essay then presents only broad claims rather than clearly organised factors. In the disadvantages paragraph, the shift from repeated effort to mental health would be clearer if you explained the connection directly. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, as in “these are the disadvantages,” which refers generally to the preceding points. Use more precise links and build each paragraph around one developed main idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including relevant terms such as “mental health,” “mental stress,” and “detrimental effects.” There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “taken into consideration.” However, the range is limited by repetition of “hard work,” “anything,” and “life,” and some choices are inaccurate or unnatural. For example, “benefits and losses” is not the usual pairing for this discussion; “advantages and disadvantages” is more appropriate. “It effects the mental health” also uses the wrong form and an unnatural collocation; “it affects children’s mental health” is clearer. Aim for precise, natural expressions and vary repeated terms without forcing overly formal vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple sentences and some longer structures, including a conditional idea in “if they are hardworking they are able to achieve anything” and a concessive opening in the conclusion. Meaning is generally understandable, but some errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and punctuation remain. For example, “those who just kept one thing in their mind, faces” has inconsistent tense and subject–verb agreement, while “when you want to get something big or even though small” is not grammatically well formed. Commas are also missing after introductory clauses, and the quotation is punctuated awkwardly. Practise constructing accurate complex sentences and check that subjects and verbs agree; clearer sentence boundaries will make your ideas easier to follow.

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