Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In many countries, children are motivated enough to achieve their deisred goals if they give their best. From my perspective, I completely agree with this statement because if we try again and again we can easily achieve your goals so motivate your self enough to succeed in life. Instead, making your mind about (I do not have capabilites and cannot achieve anything) you will definitly fails and you will unable to succeed.

On the one hand, achieving anything is too hard but your efforts, time and energy plays important role while achieving the goals. So if you are motivated enough you can easily tackle the serious situations but if you do not have courage you can easily wipped out. Although, you must be ready for any consequences to face and tackle and one crucial prospective is that if you fail once donot put yourself in stress but try once again with good faith and courage. For example, if I talk about my self I continuously failed two attempts in ielts and I am unable to achieve desired score instead having regret I give my best to achieve the objective.

On the other hand, childrens try to give their best in result or any other thing but they fail again and again instead of enhancing thier scores they put them in stress and their mind automaticlly accept the failure.For instance, in Pakistan a girl from lahore suicide because she didnot got first position.

In conclusion, if we try and give our best it is possibe that we will succeed, so if you didnot try and accept the failure you will not succeed in life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address the topic by discussing both the potential benefit of persistence and the risk that repeated failure can cause stress. Your IELTS experience and the example about a student in Lahore make the discussion more specific. However, the task asks about the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message, while much of your response shifts to general advice about trying hard and personal motivation. The opening also says you “completely agree,” which does not clearly establish a balanced position on the advantages and disadvantages. Develop each side directly: explain how the message can build resilience, then how it may create unrealistic expectations or self-blame, and clarify when encouragement should be balanced with realistic support.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion, so the reader can identify its broad structure. Examples are also placed near the ideas they illustrate. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven: the first body paragraph moves from effort to courage, consequences, failure, and your IELTS experience without clearly linking each point to the message given to children. Some connectors, including “Instead” and “Although,” do not express the relationship between the sentences accurately, and the conclusion repeats the general idea of trying rather than drawing together the two sides. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example explicitly to its main point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “achieve,” “efforts,” “consequences,” “courage,” and “failure,” and these words help communicate your main ideas. However, the range is limited and several expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, which sometimes makes the meaning harder to follow. For example, “wipped out” does not fit the intended meaning, while “put them in stress” and “give my best” are awkward collocations. Spelling errors such as “deisred,” “definitly,” and “automaticlly” are also noticeable. Build a more precise set of phrases for discussing encouragement and pressure, and check spelling and collocations carefully during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including conditional structures such as “if you do not have courage” and a contrast introduced by “but.” However, complex sentences are often difficult to control, and frequent errors affect clarity. For example, “your efforts, time and energy plays” has a subject–verb agreement error, and “you will definitly fails” combines an incorrect verb form with an unsuitable auxiliary construction. Other examples include “a girl … suicide” and “she didnot got first position,” where the verb forms and sentence structure need correction. Practise accurate conditional patterns and agreement, and divide long sentences into shorter units when several ideas are being joined.

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