Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some cultures often motivate kids by saying that anything can be achievable in life if they try hard. Although this message has benefit such as can encourage children to be passionate about achieving their goal, a drawback is that it can negatively impact some childs mind by creating extra pressure on them.

On the one hand, when people want to be successful in their life, dedication and hard work are needed to be successful. Although failure is the pillar of success, some people become demotivated after several unsuccessful attempts. Various cultures teach children that trying hard can bring sucess which is true in many cases. For instance, in academic life, it is impossible to achieve anything without trying so hard. Both in research and project, hard work and several attempts are needed to get desired outcomes. Failure is very common in life while trying hard can help to find the loopholes of a task and thereafter the next attempt can be more benefical than the previous one. Teaching this moto from childhood will grow this habit in kids because childhood is considered the foundation period of life.

On the other hand, parents often teach their child that they can achieve anything by trying hard but sometimes it does not allow kids to set their goals properly. Moreover, the goals often set by parents and they rarely realize the capability of their children. As a consequence, this message regarding trying hard often not only put over pressure on them but also hamper the development of their mind.

In conclusion, trying hard can help children to achieve their goals while putting extra pressure without knowing their capability can hamper their mind development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both the advantage and disadvantage, and your position is clear: effort can help children pursue goals, but the message may create pressure when their abilities are not considered. The examples about academic work, research and projects support the benefit, while the discussion of parental expectations introduces a relevant drawback. However, the two sides are not developed equally: the benefit is explained at length, whereas the disadvantage is asserted mainly through pressure and harm to development, without showing how this happens or giving a specific example. The claim that trying hard can achieve “anything” also needs qualification, since effort cannot guarantee every outcome. Develop both sides with clearer explanation and support to make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs beginning “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. This makes the two sides easy to identify, and the ideas generally progress from effort and failure to parental pressure. Cohesion is sometimes mechanical, however, with repeated transitions such as “Moreover” and “As a consequence,” and repeated references to trying hard. Some links between ideas are not fully clear: the sentence about failure being common moves quickly to finding “loopholes” without explaining the connection. The conclusion also repeats the main points rather than drawing them together. Use a wider range of linking methods and make the relationship between each example and its point more explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “dedication,” “demotivated,” “unsuccessful attempts,” “capability” and “development.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and there is some variety beyond basic words. However, several inaccurate or unnatural expressions limit precision, such as “passionate about achieving their goal,” “the pillar of success,” and “hamper the development of their mind.” Spelling errors, including “sucess,” “benefical” and “moto,” also reduce control. Some key terms, especially “trying hard” and “achieve,” are repeated frequently. Aim for more natural collocations and accurate word forms, and vary repeated vocabulary where the meaning allows.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession with “Although” and a conditional idea in “when people want to be successful.” The overall meaning is usually understandable, but errors in sentence construction and agreement recur. For example, “Although this message has benefit such as can encourage” combines structures incorrectly; “some childs mind” has problems with plural and possessive forms; and “the goals often set by parents” is missing a verb. The sentence “this message … often not only put over pressure” also has an incorrect verb form and an incomplete construction. These errors sometimes make the reader pause. Practise building accurate clauses first, especially with articles, plural nouns, subject–verb agreement and complete passive or active verb phrases.

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