Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Without hard working, anyone can achieve their dream goal. Some people believe that the hard worker gain success, for this reason they give their children's a massage that try hard to gain anything. On the other hand, some individual oppose the statement that not only hard work, but also some factor needed to be succeed in life. It create some some pros and cons in youngsters life, which will I discuss in this essay.

Generally speaking, there are so many advantages of hard working which never can denied. Perhaps the advantages are keep mind fresh and never give up mentality. Firstly, when children work hard they are active in something to achieve their dream. It keep there mind fresh and increase focus. For example, If students do not study well, they will not pass or take the desired position in examination. In addition, achieving something is never an easy task, while It's need so much dedication. For instance, student fail in her first attempt in any sports if she have the mentality of never give up. She will participate the sports again until gain the success. There are much more example we can see if we see in our society.

On the other hand, the hard work for gaining anything has some drawback too. there are other factor needs to achieve any goal, like standard practice, hard work in right path and so on. Two disadvantages of hard work create frustration and self-centered. Became frustrated because success is not achieve in one or two trials, some times it needs several tries and for this reasons children feel frustrated. Another one is self-centered because after so many tries students thing he or she different from other people and create a shell which cannot break.

To sum up, hard work is an important way of life to gain some goals, but it should be keep for only a certain level. If the level break the children will became frustrated and never came out from the puzzle of hard work.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both the advantages and disadvantages and give a relevant overall view: hard work can help children pursue goals, but should be kept within limits. The examples about studying for an examination and trying again in sport make the benefits more concrete. However, the response only partly explores the exact message in the prompt—that children can achieve anything if they try hard enough. The disadvantages are less clearly connected to that message, and claims such as hard work making children “self-centered” are asserted rather than explained or supported. Your opening also gives a confusing position, saying “Without hard working, anyone can achieve their dream goal,” which conflicts with the argument that follows. Clarify your stance and develop each main point with a direct explanation of how this message affects children.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on advantages, a paragraph on disadvantages, and a conclusion. Transitions such as “Firstly,” “In addition,” and “On the other hand” help signal the direction of the discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear, and some linking phrases feel mechanical or do not accurately express the relationship between ideas. For example, “Two disadvantages of hard work create frustration and self-centered” is difficult to follow, while “There are much more example…” does not add a specific supporting point. References such as “It” and “this” are not always clear. Use topic sentences that state one precise idea, then explain and illustrate it before moving to the next point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “dedication,” “frustrated,” “achieve,” and “focus,” and you attempt phrases such as “never give up mentality.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make meaning unclear, including “dream goal,” “gain anything,” “standard practice,” and “the puzzle of hard work.” There are also noticeable word-form and spelling errors, such as “hard working,” “massage” for “message,” and “thing” where “think” is intended. These errors sometimes make the reader pause to interpret your meaning. Build a more precise set of expressions for effort and outcomes, such as “sustain effort,” “pursue a goal,” and “face setbacks,” and check spelling and collocations when editing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including conditional and subordinate structures, as in “If students do not study well, they will not pass…” and “because success is not achieve in one or two trials.” However, complex attempts are often faulty, and frequent errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction can make parts difficult to understand. Examples include “the hard worker gain success,” “It keep there mind fresh,” and “if she have the mentality.” Some sentences also lack a clear grammatical structure, particularly “Two disadvantages of hard work create frustration and self-centered.” Practise forming accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add clauses with “because,” “although,” and “if.” Proofread each sentence for verb agreement and tense.

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