Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It is widely believed in some cultures children who try struggle enough at an early age of life they can achieve anything.This view have several advantages and disadvantages including at an early age of life children learn about their potential, set prior goals and some drawbacks are mentally disturbance, not get enough sleep etc.

Some people teaches their children to try hard enough to achieve their desirable goal due to the fact that childrens at early stage of life have very much potential they are so active and if they try enough they can achieve anything in life.For example, hardworking students are more likely to be toppers at their school.As a result, they are the successfull perons in future.

On the other hand all childrens are not on the same caliber, while working hard childrens may a mental disorder because at their level brain is the most sensitive part of their body if they stress it more harder it might collapsed so it is better to train them for doing hardwork at mature level.For example, a survey is conducted in 2022 childrens who are more into playing while studying are more likely to be healthy and active as compared to those childrens who only struggle to get good grades they are often weak and sick.As a result, children should be pressurized to try hard enough.

In conclusion, Childrens who struggle at an early stage of life are the future kings in their respective field and some childrens has mentally disorder because their brains can't handled the pressure.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both advantages and disadvantages, and the examples about school achievement and children’s health are relevant to the topic. However, the discussion is only partially developed: the advantage is mainly that children may reach goals, while the disadvantage focuses on stress and illness without explaining how the message itself could create these outcomes. Your position is also unclear. The introduction lists possible effects, but the conclusion calls children who work hard “future kings” and then mentions mental disorders, without weighing the two sides or giving a clear final view. Develop each point with a clearer explanation and make sure the conclusion directly answers what the advantages and disadvantages are.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two sides, and a conclusion. “On the other hand” signals a change in direction, and “For example” and “As a result” show attempts to connect claims and support. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow, particularly in the long sentence about stress, brain sensitivity, and training children. The conclusion also introduces a claim rather than clearly summarising the discussion. Some linking phrases are repetitive or do not express the intended relationship clearly. Use shorter, more controlled sentences, ensure each paragraph develops one main point in sequence, and make references such as “they” and “their” unambiguous.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “potential,” “hardworking,” “mentally,” and “pressure,” and you attempt more specific expressions such as “desirable goal.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make the meaning unclear, for example “try struggle enough,” “mentally disturbance,” “same caliber,” and “future kings.” Spelling and word-form errors such as “successfull,” “perons,” and “childrens” are also noticeable. These issues sometimes make the reader pause to interpret your ideas. Build a more accurate set of phrases for discussing motivation, achievement, stress, and wellbeing, and check spelling and word forms carefully. Prefer natural expressions over dramatic or imprecise wording.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a conditional structure in “if they try enough they can achieve anything” and a contrast introduced by “while.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors can make relationships between ideas difficult to understand. Examples include “This view have,” “Some people teaches,” and “children who try struggle enough,” which show problems with agreement and sentence construction. There are also errors with articles, plurals, and verb forms, as in “a mental disorder,” “their brains can't handled,” and “some childrens has.” Punctuation is inconsistent, especially where sentences run together. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and sentence boundaries, then build longer sentences from correctly formed clauses.

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