Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is coomon to tell children to hard work to achieve everything they need hard work. Now we discuss its benifits and drawbacks.

First we discuss benifits, if we teel to children do work hard than you get anything than childern do work hard and get everythings children feel special when we said to him this is not difficult it is easy to do when we say this thn childrean do work hard and they sucess. For example, when a children study anything and we see it is difficult for thwm than we say to them it is very easi learn it in 10 mint than children motivate and work hard and do effords. When we tell to children do hard work than its ad in their habibts in daily routine than they alawys do work hard and get everything than they not say this is hard for me or i not do this.

Its drawback, when we pressure a childre do this than they go in tension and not do work properly. For example, parents want their children get grauate and become a doctor engineer so parents pressure and shout at children than they sacred and not do work properly and they fail. Everyone is not teacher, doctor, engineer so parents need to comprmise. Secondly if parent want their children alawys pass in everywhere than children not know about fail stress. They need to learn children if they fail than what happened.

In conclusion, while this message can motivate children, it can also create unrealistic pressure if it is not explained properly

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question and give relevant examples: hard work may build motivation and habits, while pressure to become a doctor or engineer may cause stress. The conclusion also restates this contrast. However, the advantages are explained mainly through repeated claims that children will work hard and succeed, rather than showing the limits or conditions of this message. The disadvantages are somewhat clearer, but the point about learning to cope with failure is introduced briefly and not developed. The response therefore covers the task, but some ideas remain general or unclear. To strengthen it, explain how the message can encourage persistence while also acknowledging that effort cannot guarantee every outcome, and develop each example with a clear link to the question.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on advantages, a paragraph on disadvantages, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “First,” “Its drawback,” “Secondly,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the main sections. Within the body paragraphs, however, ideas are often joined in long, repetitive sequences, especially the discussion of children working hard and succeeding. Some connections are unclear, and the shift from parental pressure to the need to learn about failure is abrupt. Use shorter sentences and organise each paragraph around one main point, followed by an explanation and example. Clearer referencing—for instance, specifying what “this” or “they” refers to—would also make the progression easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use a small set of relevant words and phrases, including “motivate,” “daily routine,” “pressure,” and “stress,” so the main topic is generally understandable. However, vocabulary is limited and repeated, particularly “work hard,” “children,” and “everything,” which makes the explanation imprecise. There are also frequent spelling errors, such as “coomon,” “benifits,” “sucess,” and “grauate,” and several word combinations are unnatural, including “tell children to hard work” and “go in tension.” These errors sometimes make the reader work to understand your meaning. Build a more varied set of accurate expressions for persistence, expectations, and emotional effects, and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to express reasons, examples, and contrasts, and you use some longer sentences with “if,” “when,” and “than.” However, the range of sentence structures is limited, and many longer attempts are difficult to follow because of errors in clause formation and verb patterns. For example, “if we teel to children do work hard than you get anything” does not form a clear conditional sentence, while “parents pressure and shout at children than they sacred” has unclear grammatical relationships. There are also recurring problems with articles, agreement, and verb forms. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using one clear subordinate clause at a time. This will help you express your ideas without losing control of the sentence.

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