Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The topic is about telling children that work hard and determination can help them to achieve anything they want in life.

The children have determination than they can achieve everthing in our life therefore they have ability to worked hard fulfil all deams first teh key is determination and work hard and also have a self confidence and self believe if the quality are in the children then they achieve everthing in life what they want. The children become more confident and facing problem and difficult situation. These things of children make successful and brilliant. Another main thing is children takes risks different category to become a great person. Every children have different dreams some have support there family when they need and some are buy cars apartment and etc. One of the main thing is determination hard work and displcine to become children successful.

They develops a postive atitude towards a future.They become independent and ambitious. They are encouraged pruse there dreams.

They have some disadvantages of children we can discuss. the first is self balme when the children see her failure that they can blame there self these thing can also effect on the mental health. The children may focus to much on achievement rather than happiness.The children have no determination to faced the difficult and critical situation and not achieve there future goals.If this phase children have must be disclpine unity and faith if the children have no these thing the children can not become a successful person.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both advantages and disadvantages, and relevant benefits include confidence, ambition, independence and pursuing dreams. You also identify possible self-blame and an excessive focus on achievement, showing awareness of both sides of the question. However, the response only partially develops these points: for example, “They become more confident” is not supported with a clear explanation or example of how the message produces confidence. The disadvantage about children lacking determination is also difficult to connect to the message, and the final sentence about “disclpline unity and faith” does not clearly answer the question. State your overall view and explain each main point more fully, including when this message may help or harm children.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic overall structure: the response introduces the topic, discusses advantages, and then turns to disadvantages. The paragraph break and the transition “They have some disadvantages” help signal this change. However, progression within the paragraphs is weak: ideas move from confidence to risk-taking, family support and buying cars without clear links or prioritisation. Repeated references to “children” and “determination” also make the writing feel repetitive, while connections between claims are sometimes unclear. Organise the response around a few distinct points, with one paragraph for advantages and one for disadvantages, and use linking phrases to show cause, contrast and consequence. Clearer referencing would also help readers follow who or what each sentence refers to.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “determination,” “self confidence,” “independent,” “ambitious” and “mental health.” These words help communicate the general subject and show an attempt to discuss both outcomes and attitudes. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make meaning unclear, such as “facing problem and difficult situation,” “takes risks different category,” and “self blame.” Spelling errors, including “everthing,” “deams,” “displcine” and “postive,” are also noticeable and can slow the reader. Build a more accurate set of phrases for discussing achievement and pressure, and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise vocabulary would make your ideas easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to express reasons and results, for example in “if the quality are in the children then they achieve…” and “when the children see her failure.” However, sentence structures are limited, and attempts to combine ideas often contain errors that make the meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “The children have determination than they can achieve,” “they have ability to worked hard,” and “The children have no determination to faced.” There are also recurring problems with subject–verb agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence boundaries, as in “They develops” and “One of the main thing.” Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses using “if,” “because” and “although.” Check that verbs agree with their subjects and use the correct verb form after modal verbs and infinitives.

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