Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

"Hard is key to success". From the period of time since ancient, hard work has always played a vital role in achieving success in life. If we rely on working hard drastrically then we awill only few steps away from our success.In certain cultures, Folks are often told that they can grant each kind ok thing if they work hard.Here we will discuss several advantages of this message. Firstly, If childrens tend to focus on this message they will start struggling continuously mover childrens are very keen to such toughts. therefore, They uses all os their ability to get successful in their life. For example if a 12 years has told to struggle hard to get high position in his module, Even though if he continue his hard work journey he will soon become a professsionaly successful person in life. Likewise, There are certain diadvantages we will diccuss in this essay. Giving such messages to childrens like they can achieve success in thier life if they work does not seems to be inappropriate way to guid the folks. For example if someone some kid has suffered from some sort disorder and he keeps on horking hard maybe his strength won’t let him achieve his aim and then he would idsappointed and hence such setuations leads to suicide. Additionally, Draging such sentences to society causes racisim. Each individual start a compitition with the next person, Eventough, if the next folk gets successful in his life the people start to start him and then they set traps to set the next one down by tackling his success.Therefore, It is concluded that we we should encourage the childrens to work hard even if they face failures.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both the advantages and disadvantages and give a concluding view that children should be encouraged to work hard despite setbacks. The advantage is linked to persistence and success, while the disadvantages include disappointment when circumstances limit achievement and harmful competition. However, the discussion is only partly developed: the example of a child aiming for a high position is unclear, and the claim that this message causes racism is not explained convincingly or directly connected to the prompt. Your position also shifts somewhat, since the conclusion endorses the message without qualifying the risks discussed. Develop each point with a clearer explanation and a relevant example, and make your final position consistent with the balance of your essay.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an identifiable sequence: an introduction, a discussion of advantages, a discussion of disadvantages, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “Firstly,” “Likewise,” and “Additionally” help readers recognise the intended structure. However, progression within paragraphs is difficult to follow because several ideas are crowded together, and links between claims are sometimes unclear. For instance, the move from hard work to “racisim,” then to competition and setting traps, needs a more explicit logical connection. Some transitions are also mechanical or awkward, and punctuation does not consistently separate ideas. Use one focused paragraph for each main point, explain the relationship between sentences, and use referencing and linking expressions more precisely.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary related to the topic, including “vital role,” “achieve success,” “competition,” and “disappointed,” and you try to express abstract consequences as well as personal outcomes. However, the range is limited by repeated use of “hard work,” “success,” and “people,” while numerous spelling and word-choice errors make parts difficult to understand. Examples include “drastrically,” “diadvantages,” “toughts,” and “setuations”; phrases such as “grant each kind ok thing” and “tackling his success” are also unclear or unnatural. Choose more precise expressions and check spelling carefully. Building a small set of accurate topic phrases—such as “persevere,” “set realistic expectations,” and “face setbacks”—would help you express the ideas more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including conditional structures such as “if he continue his hard work journey” and a sentence beginning “Even though.” This shows an effort to vary sentence forms, but complex attempts are often faulty, and errors sometimes make the intended meaning hard to follow. Examples include “If childrens tend to focus … they will start,” “Each individual start,” and “does not seems,” where agreement or verb forms are incorrect. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in the run-on after “success.” Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, verb forms after modal verbs, and sentence boundaries. Shorter, correctly controlled sentences would make your argument easier to understand while you build complexity.

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