Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In some cultures, teachers and parents tell their children, they can achieve anything if they work hard. This essay has both positive and negative effect.

This message has ome advantages. First, it gives them motivation and confidence. They believe themselves that they can achieve everything if they study hard and they do not give up easily. For example, a student who is weak in math, he can improve it if he believe to work hard. Second, it teaches the students to their responsibiity of of their own sucsess instead of blaming to luck and others and they learn their efforts matters. This attitde helps in school, work, and life.

On the other hand, it has some disadvantages. First, this message is not true always. Not everyone can becomes a doctor or a famous singer by working hard because talent, money, and opportunities are also important. For instance, if a child wants to become a doctor, but their family do not afford becaue medical education are very expenice and goal was fail desipte of working hard. If a child fail even work hard, he may feel disappointed and blame himself. Second, it can create a lots of pressure. He wants to succeed every time, and if they fail,they think that they did not try enough. Thi can cause aniexty and loss of confidence.

In conclusion, telling children that they can achieve anything to work hard, they may give them motivation and build a strong work ehics. If he is not balanced, they fell disappointed and stress. Therefore, parents can teaches the lesson of work hard and tell that failure is normal and success depends on many factors.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses both advantages and disadvantages and maintains a relevant overall position: the message can motivate children, but it should be balanced with the recognition that success depends on other factors. The examples about improving at mathematics and the cost of medical education help illustrate these points. This meets the task well, while the explanation of some ideas is less fully developed: for instance, the link between effort and responsibility is asserted rather than explored, and the pressure-related disadvantage could be supported with a clearer consequence or example. The conclusion gives a practical recommendation, but its wording makes the recommendation difficult to follow. Develop each main point with a more precise explanation of how it affects children.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “First,” “Second,” and “On the other hand” makes the main stages easy to identify, and the examples generally follow the points they support. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical because several ideas are introduced with the same sequencing words, and some references are unclear. In “a student who is weak in math, he can improve it,” the pronoun repeats the subject; later, “If he is not balanced” does not clearly identify who or what needs balance. The conclusion also compresses several ideas into an awkward sentence. Use clearer links between cause and effect and make pronoun references explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the main ideas, with relevant terms such as “motivation,” “confidence,” “opportunities,” “pressure,” and “failure.” The response also attempts topic-appropriate phrases such as “work ethics” and “blaming … luck and others.” However, noticeable spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision, including “responsibiity,” “sucsess,” “attitde,” “expensive” misspelled as “expenice,” and “aniexty.” Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “they believe themselves” and “their efforts matters.” These errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the overall argument, but they limit the range and control of vocabulary. Check spelling carefully and learn common collocations in full phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and more complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “if they study hard” and “If a child wants to become a doctor.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in agreement, verb forms, sentence construction, and punctuation sometimes make the meaning harder to follow. Examples include “a student … he can improve it,” “if he believe,” “Not everyone can becomes,” and “parents can teaches.” The sentence beginning “In conclusion, telling children…” is also structurally unclear, while “If a child fail even work hard” lacks a clear grammatical connection between its clauses. Practise subject–verb agreement and conditional sentence patterns, then proofread for complete clauses and punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.