Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Hardworking is the key of success for all profession and every perposes. Some individuals believe that, children can achieve anything if they try hard enough. I partially agree with this point because hardworkworking people has dedication for achive their goal so that they can be successfull in their life. However excess hard work can lead children to wrong destination. In my point of view, it has more advantages than the disadvantages.

Initially, Every children do no have the same memorising ability, some children have sharp brain and they can adupt anything easily. In contrast, a few children have lower ability to remember their study. It is true that a lot of hard work could bring success and hapiness. Children who have sharp memorising ability and also harworking skills they can easily achive their goal. For example, A child who studied for 8 hours obviously get a great result rather than that child who studied just for 2 hours. Moreover, children who work hard for their daily tasks like homework, assignment, prssentation they can achieve a great grade as they are wish for.

On the other hand, Children who do not have sharp brain,even they work hard they can not be successful al of the time. Sometimes they could achive everything id they work hard but it is not work for in all time. Success depends on both memorising ability and also hard work. However some children who word hard but cannot get the expected grade because of their memorising disablity , they may become stressed and loose confidence.

In conclusion, from my perspective , although working hard has disadvantage, it has more advantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both the benefits and drawbacks of telling children that effort can lead to achievement, and your position is that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The examples about studying for different lengths of time and completing homework are relevant. However, the response only partly develops the task: it focuses mainly on academic ability and grades, rather than exploring the broader message or other possible advantages and disadvantages. The claim that children with weaker memory may fail despite working hard is repeated but not fully explained, and the conclusion simply restates your view. To strengthen the response, explain more clearly how this message can build persistence, while also considering how unrealistic expectations might affect children when effort does not guarantee success. The stated length requirement is met; eight words copied from the prompt were excluded from the count.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph presenting benefits, a paragraph discussing drawbacks, and a conclusion. Transitions such as “Initially,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help signal these stages. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear, and several ideas are linked mechanically or repeated. For example, the point that hard work can bring success appears in both the introduction and the benefits paragraph, while the contrast between memory and effort is not always explained smoothly. Some references, such as “that child” in the study-time example, are also awkward to follow. Improve cohesion by grouping each paragraph around one clear main idea, using pronouns and linking phrases precisely, and showing how each example supports the point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “dedication,” “confidence,” “expected grade,” and “success,” so the reader can understand your main ideas. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, word-form, and spelling errors make the writing less clear or natural. Examples include “key of success,” “memorising ability,” “sharp brain,” and “wrong destination”; these do not express the intended ideas idiomatically. Misspellings such as “perposes,” “hapiness,” and “disablity” also reduce accuracy. Build a more precise vocabulary for effort and outcomes, such as “perseverance,” “academic performance,” and “unrealistic expectations,” and check spelling and common word partnerships carefully. This would make your meaning easier to follow and give you more flexibility.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a contrast with “although” and a conditional idea beginning “even they work hard.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and frequent errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence construction sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. For instance, “Every children do no have” has problems with number and negation, while “they can not be successful al of the time” contains an unclear construction. The sentence beginning “Sometimes they could achieve everything” also has a faulty conditional form. Punctuation and capitalisation are inconsistent, particularly after full stops and around commas. Practise building accurate sentences with “although,” “because,” and “if,” then check subject–verb agreement and verb forms in each sentence.

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