Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Hardwork is one of the main feature that play and important role in our lives and they also build our confidence,self esteem and honour and value. There are many advantages and drawbacks.I will discuss the both pros and corns in the below paragraphs.

First of all, I will discuss the merits if we told childern to work hard for the better future and also they improve their living standards.They improve their skills and encouraged for the better opportunities. this belive build the confidence in the children mind and also this belive depends on efforts not on the luck.For example, in math many childern are weak i think that they are trying to struggles these problems after some times they will see the better results instead of thinking that they are not intelligent.

In addition i will discuss some drawbacks that reduce the childerns self esteem, honour and value beacuse many children are working hard but they are still fail they loss their confidence. many childern feel that if they loss their goal they think they are not intellegent and they cannot achieve success in our whole life and also this believe discourage many children and they stop working har d Moreover, Everything cannot be achive effort alone such as many factors family background, support and health of the childern also matters.

To conclude, there are many pros and cons for children to working hard. In my opnion,parents are also teach their children sometime we will defeat and another time we will sucess. So, they cannot harm yourselfs for the defeat

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question: the benefits of encouraging effort and the possible harm when children work hard but do not succeed. The maths example helps explain how persistence may improve skills, while the point about family background, support and health recognises that effort is not the only influence on achievement. Your conclusion also gives a relevant recommendation about helping children cope with defeat. However, some ideas are less fully developed than others. For example, the advantages are mostly described as improved confidence and opportunities, without explaining how the message that children can achieve anything might create unrealistic expectations. Clarifying that distinction and extending each main point with a specific explanation would make the response more complete and persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph on advantages, a paragraph on disadvantages and a conclusion. Signposts such as “First of all,” “In addition” and “To conclude” help readers follow the intended structure. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, and some connections between ideas are unclear. The opening sentence lists confidence, self-esteem, honour and value without showing how these relate to the question. In the disadvantages paragraph, the shift from children losing confidence to the role of family background and health would benefit from a clearer link. Use topic sentences that state each paragraph’s main point, then connect examples and explanations with precise referencing rather than relying mainly on formulaic transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “self esteem,” “opportunities,” “efforts,” “confidence” and “family background.” These choices allow the reader to understand the main points, but the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, particularly “children,” “believe” and “confidence.” There are also noticeable spelling and word-choice errors, such as “childern,” “intellegent,” “corns” and “working hard” where “hard work” or “making an effort” may fit better. Some expressions are unclear or unnatural, including “they improve their living standards” and “harm yourselfs for the defeat.” Build a more precise range around persistence, expectations and setbacks, and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including a conditional idea in “if they loss their goal” and a contrast introduced by “but.” However, control is uneven, and errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence boundaries sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “Hardwork is one of the main feature that play” needs singular agreement, while “parents are also teach” has an incorrect verb form. The long sentence beginning “many children are working hard” contains several ideas joined without clear punctuation, and the final sentence shifts awkwardly between “children” and “yourselfs.” Practise building accurate complex sentences with clear subjects and verbs, and proofread punctuation and agreement.

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