Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In few cultures, children are often told that by trying hard enough they can achieve anything they want. This advice is very beneficial in almost situations. However, for some conditions it can have disadvantages.

Hardwork is a key factor to achieve your goals. On every step of life, to move forward we need to do hardwork. This hardwork may have many forms depending on the situations. We should tell children from the very beginning, that they should do extra efforts to complete their goals. If we train them from the small age, this will become their habit and they will not run off from work. They will find enjoyment while working. The other advantage of hardwork is that youngsters will find great joy when they accomplish or achieve anything. For example, almost every suceeded person today had their long journey of hardwork. Phsycology also show that if we achieve anything after many efforts the level of satisfaction increase.

However, advising children all the time about hardwork can feel exhausted. Even for the tasks that does not require extra efforts, a child will always try to do hardwork and may not feel satisfied with the outcome. So, hardworking and extra effort sometime feels stressfull. For example, if we advice our child that to gain something, he always need to perform good and to achieve something they always have to do extraordinary work.

In Conclusion, hardworking has great positive outcomes most of the time. However, hardworking can feel exhausted sometimes. So we need to keep balance for healthy life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both the advantages and disadvantages and maintain a generally clear view that encouragement to work hard is beneficial but should be balanced. The benefits are relevant: you explain that effort can build a habit of persistence and bring satisfaction when children achieve something. However, these points are not fully developed, and the example about successful people is broad rather than specific. The disadvantage is also less fully explored: you mention stress and dissatisfaction, but do not explain clearly how the message that children can achieve anything might create unrealistic expectations or disappointment when outcomes depend on factors beyond effort. Develop each side with a clearer explanation and a concrete example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on advantages, a paragraph on disadvantages, and a conclusion. The contrast signalled by “However” helps readers follow the shift between sides, and the main ideas are generally presented in a sensible order. Some connections are mechanical or unclear, though. The repeated use of “hardwork” makes the advantages paragraph feel repetitive, while “The other advantage” introduces a point that overlaps with the earlier discussion of achievement. The example in the disadvantage paragraph is difficult to connect to the claim because it restates the advice rather than showing its effect. Use clearer links between claim, explanation, and example, and vary references to the central idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including terms such as “accomplish,” “satisfaction,” and “outcome.” However, the range is limited by repeated use of “hardwork,” “achieve,” and “efforts,” and several noticeable word-choice, collocation, and spelling problems reduce precision. Examples include “extra efforts,” “feel exhausted” for an experience that is stressful, “suceeded,” “Phsycology,” and “stressfull.” These errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the overall argument, but they make parts sound unnatural. Build a wider set of accurate expressions for persistence, achievement, pressure, and expectations, and check spelling and common word combinations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple sentences and some attempts at more complex structures, such as “If we train them from the small age, this will become their habit” and the conditional example beginning “if we advice our child.” The main message remains understandable, but errors in sentence construction, agreement, articles, and verb forms occur across the response. For instance, “in almost situations” needs a determiner, “the level of satisfaction increase” has a subject–verb agreement error, and “the tasks that does not require” has a mismatch between the plural subject and verb. Some sentences also become awkwardly structured, particularly the final example in the disadvantage paragraph. Practise accurate complex clauses and check agreement and verb forms when revising.

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