Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is true that children are often told that they can achieve their desire goals if they try their best. I believe that the advantages of it outweigh the disadvantages.

There are some advantages of this phenomenon. One possible benefit is that it encourages them to work more attentively to achieve their targeted goals. When a child lose their hope to achieve one of their dreams, it is a good idea to push them in a positive way by saying that they should work hard. By hard working, children can easily obtain their expectations. For example, when a student fail in academic exam, they often feel hesitate to continue their studies. As a result, by giving proper motivation and guidance, they may feel positive and do more hard work to overcome the situation. Another significant advantage could be that it boosts their confidance and make them consistant. For instance, by getting enough motivation from senior citizen, children do more concentration on their work or studies. Consequently, they get good result in examination and get some useful life skills.

On the other hand, sometimes children face extra dificulties about their personal or professional life. When they told that they can achieve anything by doing hard work, sometimes it discourage them to continue their efforts. Because a number of children are lazy and they do not want to do hard work. As a result, they leave their current project and feel disappointed. Another key disadvantage is that it is an extra pressure. As a consequence, sometimes they face health issues both in physically and mentally.

In conclusion, although doing hard work has a number of disadvantages, I strongly believe that it has many advantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both advantages and disadvantages and state a clear position in the introduction: “the advantages of it outweigh the disadvantages.” The benefits of motivation, confidence and persistence are relevant, and the exam example helps illustrate how encouragement may support a child after failure. However, some points are not fully explained. For example, the claim that children may be “lazy” and abandon a project does not clearly show how the message itself causes this outcome. The pressure and health-effects point is also asserted rather than developed. To strengthen the response, explain the conditions under which the message can be harmful—for instance, when it creates unrealistic expectations—and connect each example more directly to the question. The conclusion repeats your position but could briefly synthesise the main reasons for it.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. The progression from encouragement to confidence is understandable, and signposting such as “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” helps readers follow the argument. However, some linking is mechanical, with repeated patterns such as “As a result” and “Consequently.” Connections within the disadvantage paragraph are less clear: the shift from children being told they can achieve anything to being lazy and leaving a project needs a more explicit explanation. Some references, including “it” and “this phenomenon,” are also broad. Use more precise links between cause and effect, and vary transitions by showing whether an example illustrates, contrasts with, or explains a point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including relevant terms such as “motivation,” “guidance,” “confidance,” and “health issues.” There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “targeted goals” and “personal or professional life.” However, noticeable spelling, word-form and collocation errors reduce precision, including “desire goals,” “work more attentively,” “do more concentration,” and “get good result.” Some wording is also repetitive, particularly “hard work” and “achieve.” Choose more natural collocations and check spelling and forms carefully; for example, describe children as working consistently or concentrating on their studies. A broader range of precise terms for unrealistic expectations, resilience and pressure would help express the argument more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple sentences and longer structures, including conditional and subordinate clauses such as “When a child lose their hope…” and “although doing hard work has a number of disadvantages.” Most of the meaning remains understandable, but some grammatical errors occur in verb agreement, tense and sentence construction. Examples include “a child lose” and “a student fail,” where the singular subject needs a matching verb form, and “When they told,” where the passive construction is incomplete. The sentence beginning “Because a number of children are lazy” is also a fragment when separated from the preceding sentence. Review subject–verb agreement and ensure dependent clauses are attached to complete sentences. More accurate control of these structures would make your reasoning easier to follow.

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