Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In many countries, chiderens are often told that they can achieve what ever they want if they try hard enough. This essay discuss the advantages and disadvantages of giving this message to children and also elaborate my opinion.

Get work hard is best thing that can people do in their life. There are many benefits of this advice. For example, every famous person is sucessfull just because of hard work and dedication. They foucus on their goals and do their best, then the results are amazing. I mention one of my friend who want to become a doctor. He was failed in entery test but he will cleared test in second attempt. He was focused and full of motivation. He do their best and now he is a good doctor. This is a power of hard work.

On the other hand, there are some drawbacks of this advice. If the person failed after so many struggle he will be broken and difficult to move on. One of my friend want to become singer. At the bigening, his voice is not good. Ater so many practice his voice is uite better but this is not enough to become singer, Even he is not selected for any performance. This was very painfull journy but he undersatnd how to move on. This stage of life is very difficult when you are doing very well but luck is not with you. That is the main drawback of this meesage that is delivered to the young generation.

In conclusion, the message you can achive anything that you want delivered to the children is beneficial. It has soe issues but it will be covered with the pessage of time.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both advantages and disadvantages and give relevant examples, so the response covers the main parts of the question. The story about your friend passing the medical entrance test illustrates how persistence can lead to success, while the aspiring singer shows that effort does not guarantee the desired outcome. However, the discussion of the disadvantages is more developed than the explanation of how children might be affected by unrealistic expectations; the singer example focuses mainly on disappointment. Your opinion is also difficult to identify: the introduction promises one, but the conclusion says the message is beneficial while only briefly acknowledging its issues. State your position clearly and explain how children can be encouraged without being promised that effort guarantees success.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. The contrastive opening, “On the other hand,” helps signal the shift between the two sides, and the examples generally appear in the relevant paragraphs. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes uneven. In the singer example, the sequence from practice to not being selected to “luck” is not fully explained, and “This stage of life” has an unclear reference. The conclusion also introduces the idea that issues will be “covered with the passage of time” without showing how this follows from the discussion. Use clearer links between each example and the point it supports, and make references and the final summary more precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “hard work,” “dedication,” “focused,” “motivation,” and “drawback.” These choices make the main ideas understandable, and phrases such as “move on” help convey the emotional consequences of failure. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, spelling, and collocation errors reduce precision, including “famous person is sucessfull,” “entery test,” “painfull journy,” and “the pessage of time.” Some expressions are also vague or unnatural, such as “the results are amazing” and “this is a power of hard work.” Build a more accurate range for discussing persistence, expectations, and setbacks, and check spelling and common word combinations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple sentences and longer structures, including conditional phrasing such as “If the person failed after so many struggle…” and clauses introduced by “but” and “when.” This gives the response some variety, and the main message is usually recoverable. However, there are some recurring errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction. For example, “This essay discuss” should use a third-person singular verb, while “He was failed” and “he will cleared” do not use appropriate verb forms. In “He do their best,” the subject and verb do not agree, and “one of my friend” needs a plural noun. Review tense consistency and basic sentence patterns, then proofread for agreement and articles.

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