Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In various cultures, children are motivated that anything could be achieved through hardwork. It offers advantages including, high dreams and also has some disadvantages like exploitation.

One of the significant benefits of hard work is that children set high goals in their life. When students come to know that by trying hard, desired goals can be achieved, they put their heart and soul into their field without any worry. In other words, this argument encourages children to aim big, trust them selves and try their best. For instance, a student from underprivilaged family, after getting motivation from this perspective, would aim to be a doctor. Therefore, motivating children in this way results in high ambitions of youngsters.

On the other hand, motivation for hard work can also spoil children. The motivation of hardwork to achieve big dreams not only inspire students but also increase the risk to ignore othere essential things of life.The student might take it more serious and start expoliting him by paying less attention on health and sleep. For example, a children from a middle class family may ignore his personal life, but work day and night only to become successful through hardwork and after some month become so weak not to do routine work. Thus, the motivation of hardwork might lead children to exploitation.

In conclusion, Although hardwork has some advantages as it encourages children to aim big, it also has some dis advantages as it may spoil student because they stop paying attention to there health and other essential things of their life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and maintain a clear overall position: the message can encourage ambition, but may also lead children to neglect their wellbeing. The example of a student from a disadvantaged family aspiring to become a doctor supports the advantage, while the example of working excessively illustrates a possible disadvantage. However, the benefits are explained more clearly than the drawbacks, and the claim that hard work can “spoil children” is broad and not fully clarified. The response would be stronger if it explained that effort cannot guarantee every outcome, and developed how this message might create unrealistic expectations or pressure. More precise explanation of these consequences would make the discussion more balanced and convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. The progression from the main point to an example and then a brief result is generally easy to follow. Linking phrases such as “For instance,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the argument. To make the organisation more fluent, avoid relying on formulaic transitions and strengthen the links between sentences. For example, the shift from “aim big” to the doctor example could explain more directly how the message encourages persistence. Some references, such as “this perspective” and “the motivation,” are vague or repetitive; naming the message more precisely would make connections clearer.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “aim big,” “put their heart and soul,” “ambitions,” and “paying attention,” which helps communicate the main ideas. There are also attempts at more formal wording, such as “significant benefits” and “essential things of life.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, including “children are motivated that,” “high dreams,” “spoil children,” and “exploiting him” where you mean overworking oneself. Spelling and word-form errors such as “hardwork,” “underprivilaged,” and “expoliting” also reduce precision. Work on natural collocations and accurate spelling, and choose terms that describe the consequences more precisely, such as pressure or neglect of wellbeing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including conditional structures such as “When students come to know that…,” and a contrastive sentence beginning “Although hardwork has some advantages…”. The main meaning is generally understandable, but some grammatical errors remain. For example, “anything could be achieved” shifts tense awkwardly in the opening, and “The motivation … not only inspire … but also increase” has subject–verb agreement errors. Other examples include “a children,” “take it more serious,” and “after some month become so weak,” where articles, adjective forms, and sentence structure need attention. Review agreement, singular and plural forms, and complete sentence construction; proofreading these patterns would improve accuracy while preserving your attempts at complex sentences.

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