Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Children are often advised to work hard for their goals in some societies. This belief comes with a bunch of pros and cons. The main advantage of effort is that the children learn to earn their desired mark by their own hard work. They built their self-confidence. However, sometimes this constant advice becomes overwhelming. It may affect their mental and physical health.

Hard work is often advised to children in many cultures. It has some significant advantages. Hard work prevents the children from approaching evil means. They try to earn their goals by their efforts. It is the key of success. Self-confidence and decision-making power follow hard work. Their lives become more disciplined. It leads to building a positive and progressive society.Their positive contribution makes better living standards and strengthens the economy.

In contrast, continuous extra effort have adverse effects too. Children become anxious and stressed by overdemanding society. They try to achieve beyond their limits. They stop enjoying their lives and rather become part of success race. It leads to the loss of mental peace and comfort. It also increases health risks. The work-fatigued brain and body decline leading to several illnesses like chronic back pain.

I will conclude with the fact that every work has its own positive and negative outcomes. Hardwork brings a lot of success, self-esteem, better living standards and feeling of happiness. It also has drawbacks accompanied by deteriorating health, mental stress and exhaustion with no work-life balance.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both advantages and disadvantages, and your position is clear: effort can build confidence and success, but excessive pressure can harm children. Relevant points include discipline, anxiety, reduced enjoyment, and health risks. However, several claims are asserted rather than explained—for example, that hard work prevents children from using “evil means” or strengthens the economy. The discussion also focuses mainly on hard work in general, rather than examining the specific message that children can achieve anything if they try hard enough. The conclusion repeats the main points without adding much synthesis. The response is 243 words, so it falls short of the required 250-word minimum. Develop the link between the message and each outcome, and support fewer points with clearer explanation or examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph on advantages, a paragraph on disadvantages, and a conclusion. The contrast is easy to follow, with signposting such as “In contrast” and “I will conclude.” However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical because “hard work” and “It” recur frequently, and some links between ideas are abrupt. For instance, the move from self-confidence and decision-making to a “positive and progressive society” is not fully explained. The opening also previews both sides, then repeats similar claims in the body. Use clearer referencing and connect each consequence to the central message; this would make the progression more natural and less repetitive.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary to discuss effort and its effects, including “self-confidence,” “disciplined,” “anxious,” “mental peace,” and “work-life balance.” Some less common expressions are attempted, but several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “evil means,” “overdemanding society,” “success race,” and “work-fatigued brain.” “Hardwork” is also incorrectly written as one word, and “desired mark” is narrower than the broader goals in the prompt. These choices do not prevent understanding, but they reduce precision and naturalness. Prefer established collocations and vocabulary that directly describes parental or cultural expectations, pressure, resilience, and realistic goal-setting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple sentences and some longer structures, and most ideas remain understandable. However, there are several errors in agreement and sentence construction. For example, “continuous extra effort have adverse effects” should use a singular verb, while “The work-fatigued brain and body decline leading…” needs clearer sentence structure and punctuation. In “They built their self-confidence,” the past-tense verb does not fit the general present-tense discussion. The sentence “It leads to building a positive and progressive society.Their positive contribution…” also needs a space after the full stop and a clearer connection between the clauses. Review subject–verb agreement, consistent tense, and punctuation, while practising complex sentences that express cause and effect accurately.

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