Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In conventional epoch, most of people used to do hard-work to achieve life goals, whereas in this contemporary era, due to modernization, most of young adults prefer to do smart work instead of hard-work. It is highly debatable whether youngsters can achieve anything if they burn midnight oil in several. I shall discuss both pros and cons in upcoming paragraphs.

The major merit of doing hard-work by youngsters to achieve anything is that youngsters can become independent. For instance, youngsters want to become independent to upgrade their standard of living Therefore, most of youngsters burn midnight oil. Besides this, youngsters become successful person in life. The good illustration of that is, by doing hard-work in childhood age, achieving success in life would be easy for youngsters. Therefore, youngsters achieve success fastly in life.

Some similar demerits of doing hard-work by youngsters to achieve anything Firstly, youngsters take extra burden in life. for example, youngsters are in their childhood life take responsibilities, it could bad impact on youngsters life. As a result, children should do hard-work in adult age.

In conclusion, the aforementioned arguments in nutshell. From my perspective, children should avoid doing hard-work in childhood. because it gives extra stress in their life. which provide harmful impacts in life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response attempts to discuss both advantages and disadvantages, and it gives a clear final view that children should avoid excessive hard work because it can cause stress. However, it only partially addresses the actual question: the prompt asks about the message that children can achieve anything if they try hard enough, while the essay shifts mainly to hard work, independence, and success. The advantages are asserted rather than explained, and the disadvantage is limited to taking on extra responsibility and stress. The response also does not meet the stated 250-word minimum, which restricts the development of its ideas. To improve, explain how this message can build confidence or persistence, then consider the pressure or disappointment it may create, using specific examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay has a recognisable introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, so the reader can identify its intended structure. Basic signposting such as “Besides this,” “Firstly,” and “In conclusion” helps indicate the stages of the response. However, there is no clear progression within several paragraphs: the first body paragraph moves from independence to success without explaining the connection, and the disadvantage paragraph ends abruptly. Some linking phrases are repetitive or awkward, including “Therefore” used twice in close succession. Sentence boundaries and punctuation also make the flow difficult in places, such as “standard of living Therefore” and “arguments in nutshell.” Organise each paragraph around one main point, explain it, and connect examples explicitly to the question.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some topic-related vocabulary, including “independent,” “standard of living,” “responsibilities,” and “stress,” and it attempts more formal expressions such as “contemporary era” and “aforementioned arguments.” However, the range is limited and several choices are unnatural or imprecise, which can make the intended meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “conventional epoch,” “burn midnight oil in several,” “successful person,” and “achieve success fastly.” The repeated use of “youngsters,” “hard-work,” and “life” also makes the writing sound repetitive. Aim for accurate, natural collocations and vocabulary that directly reflects the prompt, such as “perseverance,” “self-belief,” “pressure,” and “setbacks.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts a few complex structures, including the opening contrast with “whereas” and the conditional idea “if they burn midnight oil.” However, sentence patterns are mostly simple, and attempts at longer sentences are often faulty or incomplete. For example, “youngsters are in their childhood life take responsibilities” lacks a workable grammatical structure, while “In conclusion, the aforementioned arguments in nutshell” is not a complete sentence. There are also recurring problems with articles, agreement, and punctuation, as in “most of people” and “Therefore” following a sentence without a full stop. These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas unclear. Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check articles, verb forms, and sentence boundaries.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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