Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Hard work is a key to success and for a fulling dreams and goals everyone put their efforts.

in some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough its totally true because hard work works like a steping stones which helps us to achieve ours goals and dreams.

Many children are often told by there parents, nabours that they should work hard in there studies so that they can get there good marks and many times parents told to their children that education is important in their life and they should put their hard efforts for it.

But there are some advantages and disadvantages of giving messages because in the age of playing games, enjoying their parents gives lessons about the hard works it can affect their child age because in the age of developing they came to know about responsibilities.

Furthermore, many time children moves toward depressed life being silent in the age of playing game. So it basically make their childlife unhappy their parents should tell the about the hard work in there life in the age of teen and adult when they are on the feild of job and self employed.

But many time hard work lesson plays a inportant role in there life when child gets the goal about their life that what they have to do in future childrens mainly starts to work for their bright furture.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You address the topic by mentioning both possible benefits and drawbacks: hard work may help children pursue goals, while pressure during childhood may affect their happiness. However, the discussion is minimal and the advantages and disadvantages are not clearly explained or supported with specific examples. The opening claim that hard work leads to success is relevant, but the essay does not establish a clear, balanced position on whether this message is helpful overall. The response also contains 222 words, so it is 28 words below the required minimum; 17 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. Develop each side with a clear explanation and an example, then state your overall view.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: it begins with a general statement, moves to parental messages, and then introduces disadvantages and benefits. Words such as “But” and “Furthermore” signal some relationships between ideas. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the advantages and disadvantages are mixed together, and several sentences repeat the same point about hard work without advancing the discussion. For example, the paragraph beginning “But there are some advantages and disadvantages” shifts from children’s play to responsibility without a clear link. Use separate paragraphs for the two sides, give each paragraph one main idea, and connect explanations with clear references.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Your vocabulary is basic and often repetitive, with frequent reliance on “hard work,” “children,” “life,” and “goals.” Some phrases communicate the topic, such as “responsibilities” and “bright future,” but several word choices or collocations make the meaning less natural: “fulling dreams,” “steping stones,” and “depressed life.” Spelling errors, including “nabours,” “inportant,” and “furture,” also reduce accuracy. To improve, learn topic-specific phrases for effort, expectations, pressure, and achievement, and check spelling and collocations. For instance, explain that persistent effort can help children develop resilience, while unrealistic expectations may create stress.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including a reason clause in “so that they can get there good marks” and a time clause beginning “when child gets the goal.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence boundaries, agreement, articles, and verb forms sometimes make ideas hard to follow. For example, “everyone put their efforts” needs a correctly formed verb, while “many time children moves” has problems with both the time expression and subject–verb agreement. The sentence beginning “But there are some advantages and disadvantages” also runs several ideas together without clear punctuation. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then add one subordinate clause at a time and check agreement and punctuation.

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