Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In few customs , children are often said that they can get anything if they strive hard enough. what are the benefits and drawbacks of giving children this statement . The overall this hot debated is good we get anything if we become determine and take confirms decesion

In first paragraph we disscuss about that we can acheive anything in world we become determind for example, Barack Obama was president of America so they worked hard and basically born in pakistan and when they go to America for higher education and after completed education they started struggle for become the president of America . At finally they become president of america the main things is that first we take decision of anything which we want acheive in our lifes after that we started the hard work towards this goals and we take consistently hard work about their goals

secondly, we get anything if we have solid decision and determination for example ex- prime minister of pakistan imran khan take struggle for continuously twenty two years to become prime miniter of pakistan at started, they lack of communiction and speech so with struggle they acheive anything in life and become good captain cricketor and won 1992 world cup and makes pakistan nation proudfull

at third paragraph we disscuss about the drawbacks of children told about the early phase of life comments on high decision of lifes and goals furrthermore they have side effect on brains and disturbs the brainstorming methods of minds and get load on mind and taking decision of life . so at the end it is very important to train children at basic level of early stages of life and at the end we become determine when we mature with passage of time we take hard decision of life which is very important for our successfull life and when we are richer and have resources we take get anything in life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both the potential benefit and drawback of telling children they can achieve their goals through effort. The examples of Barack Obama and Imran Khan support your point about determination, and you do attempt to explain that pressure to make major decisions early may affect children. However, the response only partially answers the question: much of the discussion describes how two adults succeeded rather than explaining the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this particular message. The disadvantage is especially unclear in phrases such as “disturbs the brainstorming methods of minds.” Your position is also difficult to identify in the opening and conclusion. Explain specific effects on children—for example, confidence and persistence as benefits, and unrealistic expectations or self-blame as risks—and make your overall view clear.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation: the response moves from an introduction to examples of success and then to drawbacks, and “secondly” signals another supporting example. However, the progression is not consistently clear. The opening sentence is difficult to follow, and the paragraph beginning “at third paragraph” combines a possible drawback with advice and a conclusion, so these functions are not clearly separated. Linking expressions such as “at finally,” “furthermore,” and “at the end” are repetitive or do not show the relationship between ideas accurately. Some references, including “they” in the Obama example, are unclear. Use distinct paragraphs for the introduction, advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion, and connect each point with precise transitions and clear references.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “determination,” “struggle,” “goals,” and “side effect,” and the examples show an effort to express ideas beyond very basic statements. However, the range is limited and many word choices, collocations, and spellings make the meaning difficult to follow. Phrases such as “take confirms decesion,” “solid decision,” and “proudfull” are inaccurate or unnatural, while “brainstorming methods of minds” does not clearly express the intended drawback. Repetition of “hard work,” “anything,” and “life” also limits precision. Build a more reliable set of topic phrases, such as “develop resilience,” “set realistic goals,” and “feel excessive pressure,” and check spelling and word forms before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences, for example when describing the steps from making a decision to working towards a goal. However, the range of sentence structures is limited, and attempts at complex sentences are often faulty, which sometimes makes the meaning difficult to understand. Examples include “children are often said that they can get anything” and “when they go to America … they started struggle,” where clause structure and verb forms are not controlled. There are also frequent problems with articles, agreement, plurals, and punctuation, as in “the main things is” and the run-on final section. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using subordinate clauses; check subject–verb agreement and keep each sentence focused on one main idea.

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