Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In different cultures, a common belief that passes through generations, is that anything can be achieved with enough hard work. In my opinion, this mentality could be benificial where it motivate childen to work hard toword their goals, however, it could have more disadvantages, consequently causing low self-esteem and risking comparision and toxic compititions.

Firstly, consistly telling kids that they are capable of reaching their goals, will motivate them to try hard and push their limits. Also, the repeated motivational speech will be traced in their subcontion and mind encouraging them to always try even after failure. Namely, an expirement made in 2017,taking two groups of primary students, the first was emcouraged to study and their capability to achieve good grades consistently prised, and the second got no praising, the results was that the group one got 15% better grades compared to the other one.

However, those results are only benificial went they are said by caring superviosors, which is not the case for many people, that are put under pressure by toxic motivation. The consequence of this harsh speech is destroying their self-esteem and confidence because their worth will be messured by their level of achievements.

While numerious parents repeatedly compare their kids to others causing unhealthy compitition between them. This mentally is very common in arabic households and the majority of children in those countries have been compared to their cousins or others in the same age group as them.

In conclusion, this type of messages can have benefits if it said cautionsly while keeping the mental health of the kids a priority, otherwise the desadvantages will outweigh those advantages and destroy their well-being.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both the advantages and disadvantages and give a clear overall view: the message can motivate children, but may harm their well-being when delivered harshly. The explanation of motivation is supported by the example of children being encouraged to study, while the discussion of pressure, self-esteem and comparison develops the disadvantages. This covers the task well, though some points are less fully explained than others. For instance, the study is presented as evidence, but its relevance to the broader claim about believing one can achieve anything is not made explicit. The point about comparisons in Arab households is also asserted rather than explored. Clarifying how these examples illustrate the effects of the message would make the response more fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on the benefit, paragraphs on disadvantages, and a conclusion that restates your position. Linking expressions such as “Firstly,” “However,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the main stages. The progression is generally logical, but some connections are mechanical or unclear. For example, “those results” refers to the study, yet the transition from the study to the qualification about caring supervisors could be explained more directly. The paragraph beginning “While numerous parents” is also a sentence fragment, which interrupts the flow from the previous point. Use clearer links between claims and examples, and ensure each paragraph develops one complete line of reasoning.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of relevant vocabulary, including “self-esteem,” “confidence,” “toxic motivation,” and “unhealthy competition,” which helps express the topic’s effects. Some choices are effective, but spelling errors and inaccurate word forms are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause: examples include “benificial,” “subcontion,” “expirement,” and “compititions.” There are also collocation or phrasing issues, such as “the results was” and “their capability … consistently praised,” which reduce naturalness. To strengthen this area, check spelling carefully and choose precise, natural combinations of words. You can also avoid repeating broad terms such as “message” and “results” by using more specific alternatives where appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses with “because” and “which,” and the main ideas are generally understandable. However, some grammatical errors recur and occasionally make relationships between ideas less clear. For example, “this mentality … motivate childen” has subject–verb agreement and verb-form problems, while “the results was” also has incorrect agreement. The sentence “While numerous parents repeatedly compare their kids to others…” is incomplete because the subordinate clause has no main clause. Punctuation is also uneven, particularly in the opening sentence, where commas interrupt the subject and verb. Review agreement, complete sentence structure, and comma use, while retaining your attempts at complex sentences.

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