Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Hardwork is key to success. if any one has the facility of expertise he has to insert less effort in acheiving a success. This success build the confidance in him and motivate others. By this way .... arise in the people.

There are number of communities living on the earth. Each have their own way of living. In some culture only hardwork is promoted while other not only insist on hard work but also creativity. For creative thinking they setup study structure in which knowledge of different fields are available. This knowledge creat the ability of thinking that lead to inventions. These inventions are not solely based on hard work but also on intelegence. All the developed countries follow the path of hard work and creativity. In this way they are ahead more to other countries.

Many developing and under developed countries only focus on hardwork. They get reward but after long time. Many african countries who have large gold mines and beautiful forest full of unique species do not allow other countries to help them in finding golds. They use labour force to find gold. Through this process they are unable to extract such large quantity gold that make their economy better. It is same as maison try to make house with sand only. On the other hand gulf countries also have oil reserves if they follw the path of african countries they still struggling.

Hardwork has vital importance in acheiving the success but smart thinking can never be neglected as it make a perfect combination

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response is only tangentially related to the question, which asks for advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything through effort. Instead, it discusses hard work, creativity, and economic development in different countries. The final claim that hard work and smart thinking form a good combination gives a general position, but it does not explain what this message might do for children or identify its possible drawbacks, such as unrealistic expectations or discouragement when effort does not bring success. The examples about African countries and Gulf countries do not support an answer about children. To improve, address both sides directly and develop relevant examples involving children’s confidence, motivation, and expectations.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some paragraphing, and the response moves from a general opening to comparisons between cultures and countries before ending with a brief conclusion. However, the overall progression is difficult to follow because the discussion does not build toward an answer to the question. Connections between ideas are sometimes unclear: the opening fragment “By this way .... arise in the people” does not establish what will be discussed, and the shift from creativity in education to gold extraction is abrupt. Linking phrases such as “On the other hand” and “In this way” are used, but they do not consistently clarify the relationship between points. Organise the essay around advantages and disadvantages, with each paragraph developing one side and a clear concluding summary.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some topic-related vocabulary, including “hard work,” “creativity,” “inventions,” “labour force,” and “economy,” and attempts comparisons such as “a perfect combination.” However, the range is limited for the question, and several choices or spellings make the meaning less clear, including “facility of expertise,” “golds,” and “maison.” Repetition of “hardwork” also reduces precision. Some phrases appear to be translated directly rather than expressed naturally, which can make the reader pause. Build vocabulary around the actual topic—for example, “self-belief,” “resilience,” “unrealistic expectations,” and “fear of failure”—and check collocations and spelling before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and more extended sentence forms, including the relative clause in “knowledge of different fields are available” and the conditional structure “if they follw the path of african countries.” However, complex attempts are often faulty, and frequent errors can make relationships between ideas difficult to understand. Examples include “Each have their own way,” “This success build,” and “that lead to inventions,” where subject–verb agreement is incorrect. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in “Hardwork is key to success. if any one…,” while the opening contains an incomplete construction. Practise accurate agreement, complete sentences, and controlled conditional forms; then proofread capitalization and punctuation so the reader can follow each point.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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