Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It is argued that children are sometimes told if they try their best, they can fulfill anything. There are some benefits of this trend and I believe some advantages boost children to success their future.

There are a number of reasons why I believe that work hard is the best method to achieve something. One possible reason is that if children continuously try, it builds their self- confidence and encourage young people to keeps moving forward without fear. Forexample, a student who is poor in english and get a bad score can affect their mind, but if she or he never gives up that can fulfill their hard work. Another reason is that when someone encourage themeself freom own mind instead of another pushing, they will sucess at a time.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response is only minimally developed in relation to the question. It gives a relevant advantage—encouraging persistence and confidence—and illustrates it with a student who receives a poor score, but the example is difficult to follow and the idea is not fully explained. More importantly, the task asks for both advantages and disadvantages, while no disadvantage is discussed. The opening also suggests a positive view without clearly establishing a position on the overall balance of benefits and drawbacks. The response is 120 words below the required minimum, which leaves too little space to address both sides adequately. Develop at least one clear disadvantage, explain its effects, and support each main point with a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is some basic organisation: an introductory paragraph is followed by a body paragraph, and phrases such as “One possible reason” and “Another reason” signal the order of points. The central idea of persistence is also maintained. However, the response has no concluding paragraph, and the second reason is not clearly connected to the first or sufficiently explained, so overall progression is limited. Some references are hard to follow, particularly “that can fulfill their hard work,” where it is unclear what “that” refers to. The example beginning “For example” is also not clearly linked to the claim about confidence. Use separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, make each paragraph develop one main point, and use clear references and transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited but includes some relevant terms, such as “self-confidence,” “continuously try,” and “never gives up,” which help communicate the topic of perseverance. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unclear, including “fulfill anything,” “success their future,” and “encourage themeself freom own mind.” These errors sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to understand. Spelling and presentation also need attention: “Forexample,” “english,” and “sucess” should be corrected. Build a more precise range for discussing outcomes and risks, and learn common combinations such as “achieve a goal,” “succeed in the future,” and “put pressure on children.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple statements and longer conditional sentences, for example, “if children continuously try, it builds their self-confidence.” This shows an effort to connect ideas, but the range remains limited and errors occur frequently. In “work hard is the best method,” the verb form should be “working hard”; “it builds … and encourage” has inconsistent agreement; and “a student … get a bad score” needs a matching verb form. The construction “when someone encourage themeself … they will sucess” also has agreement and pronoun problems. These issues can make relationships between ideas unclear. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, verb forms after “when” and “if,” and clear pronoun reference, then check each sentence for a complete, consistent structure.

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