Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the recent years ,motivating young people by telling them that working hard enough will make them reach their dreams, has became increasingly commun in may part in the world . This development has several positive ascpects , it also has some negative effects .

One major significant advantage , is that giving this message to children tend to make them fight all the cercimstances to make their dreams real and make their parents proud. A study published in new york university concluded that 80% of dentists they worked really hard to be what they are now , and the main cause is the parents who encourage them at a young age. Another aspect to consider is that having a puropose in a young age can open a clear path for them and keep them focused, therefore , planing for the career can be benificial to people.

However, there are some negative affects ,sush as the children may lose their childhood while they are trying to enhance their carrer to be secussful in the future , in addition, the childhood is a very important step for the child to grow in healthy conditions . not onnly that but some of them find it hard whitout even trying to make a step. therefore every thing has its time no need to rush .

To sum up, although giving a motivation notes to kids has both positive and negative effects , however it can be creating a perfect path in the future , it may also makes them lazy and depressed .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question: the first body paragraph explains how encouragement may motivate children, support ambition and help them plan a career, while the second raises the risk of losing childhood and feeling unable to succeed. These are relevant points, but several are asserted rather than explained. The example about dentists and their parents is specific, yet its connection to the broader claim is not clearly developed, and the point that some children struggle “without even trying” is difficult to interpret. Your conclusion also introduces the idea that the message may make children “lazy and depressed,” which is not established in the discussion. Develop each disadvantage and make your overall view clearer and more consistent.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. This makes the main direction easy to follow. You also use linking expressions such as “Another aspect to consider,” “However,” and “To sum up.” However, some connections are mechanical or unclear: “not only that” does not lead into a clearly expressed point, and “therefore” is used where the relationship between ideas is not fully explained. The conclusion’s contrast between a “perfect path” and becoming “lazy and depressed” does not clearly follow from the body paragraphs. Use clearer references and ensure each sentence develops the point immediately before it.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “encourage,” “focused,” “career,” and “healthy conditions,” and you attempt phrases such as “make their dreams real.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes making the meaning difficult to understand. Examples include “motivation notes,” “fight all the circumstances,” and “a purpose in a young age.” Spelling errors such as “commun,” “ascpects,” and “secussful” also reduce clarity. Aim for accurate, natural combinations rather than translating phrases directly. For instance, you could write that children are encouraged to “pursue their ambitions,” while also noting that excessive pressure may “undermine their well-being.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a sentence beginning “although” and clauses linked with “while” and “therefore.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries sometimes make the reader work to understand your meaning. For example, “has became” should use the correct past participle, and “giving this message to children tend” has a subject–verb agreement problem. The final sentence, “although … however,” combines two contrasting structures unnecessarily, while several commas divide subjects from verbs or join separate ideas. Practise building accurate complex sentences, then check each sentence for a clear subject and verb and appropriate punctuation.

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