Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In various cultures, some people told children that they can achieve anything they want by working hard enough. In my opinion, telling children such message is good to motivate them to work by heart and to achieve their goals and fulfill their dreams in the future. Moreover, by conveying this message we can improve the will of children to do anything big in his life.

Firstly, i personally believe that hard work is the key to success and I proudly say that my this believe is helping me to achieve my goals in my daily life. If anyone hear that nothing is possible without working hard, than he experiences this in his daily routine and than he understands the importance of hard work and its role in our today’s life. For example, if a student is told to study hard to secure a position in his class, he will absolutely do this to get high scores in his subjects.

Secondly, forcing a children to work hard in such thing in which he is not intrusted maybe not beneficial. Sometimes, we encourage young ones to do a thing in which he is not intrusted for instance, if a student is studying medical in his school or college and he is happy about his decision but his parents want that the should be an engineer or a lawyer and they force him to work hard in wrong place which demotivates him.

In conclusion, I believe that parents should ask their children about his intrusts and then ask him to work hard to fulfill them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You present a relevant position: the message can motivate children, but pressure to pursue an unsuitable goal can be harmful. The example of a student being encouraged to study for high scores supports the advantage, while the medical student whose parents prefer another career illustrates a disadvantage. However, the response does not fully explore the wording “can achieve anything”: it focuses mainly on hard work and parental pressure, without considering limits such as ability, circumstances, or setbacks. The disadvantages are also less clearly connected to the message itself. Develop both sides more evenly and explain the consequences of encouraging unrealistic expectations, as well as how effort can build persistence and confidence.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “Firstly” and “Secondly,” and a conclusion. The ideas generally progress from motivation to the risk of being pushed towards an unwanted career, so the reader can follow the main argument. However, the first body paragraph shifts into a personal claim about your own goals, which interrupts the development of the general point. Some links are mechanical, and references such as “he” and “this” are not always clear when discussing children or students generally. Use more precise referencing and connect each example explicitly to the advantage or disadvantage being discussed. A more balanced conclusion could also summarise both sides rather than only advising parents.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “motivate,” “achieve their goals,” “hard work,” and “demotivates.” However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors make the expression less natural. For example, “work by heart” does not convey the intended meaning, and “my this believe” is awkward; “intrusted” is repeatedly misspelled and appears to mean “interested.” Phrases such as “do anything big in his life” are vague, while “wrong place” is imprecise in the career example. Build a more accurate range for discussing effort, expectations, and career choices, and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including conditional structures such as “if a student is told to study hard … he will …” and a longer sentence explaining parental pressure. However, errors occur frequently and sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Examples include “some people told children” where the present perfect or passive form is needed, “a children,” and “his” when referring to children generally. The sentence beginning “Sometimes, we encourage…” also has unclear subject and pronoun agreement, and several sentences run together with repeated “than.” Practise consistent present-tense forms, articles, singular/plural agreement, and punctuation. Shorter, carefully controlled sentences would help make your complex ideas clearer.

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