Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

I'm strongly in support of the saying children can achieve anything if they try hard enough in some cultures.

Firstly, children cab easily be corrected , swayed and been put in the right direction due to the fact that they are young minds. If some children are not told to try hard they won't even bother trying.

First advantage is that , been told something like that can keep some children on their toes and make them work harder more than they do. On the other hand it can also have an effect on the children, when young people see their colleagues doing fine and they keep on trying hard to meet up but could not, that can make them take steps that's against their will.

Childrem can also set big goals. Their performance in school can improve.

Additionally, they can also see it as pressure from parents. They can also blame themselves instead of understanding that failure is normal, if they don't meet up with their parents expectations. But they will able to learn that success comes from hard work.

In conclusion , children can achieve alot if they are encouraged.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both advantages and disadvantages, mentioning that encouragement may make children “work harder” and set “big goals,” while also creating pressure and self-blame. However, the discussion is brief and these points are mostly asserted rather than explained with examples or consequences. The opening says you support the message, but the conclusion only says children can achieve a lot if encouraged, so your position on the disadvantages is not fully clarified. The response also contains 184 words, below the required 250; the eight words copied from the task prompt are excluded from that count. Develop each side with a clear explanation and a specific example, and make your final view consistent with the discussion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some organisation: you begin with a position, use “Firstly” and “On the other hand” to signal ideas, and provide a concluding sentence. However, the response does not progress through clearly developed paragraphs, and several points appear abruptly, such as “Childrem can also set big goals” and “Their performance in school can improve.” The relationship between ideas is sometimes unclear, particularly where the discussion moves from pressure to learning that success comes from hard work. Some linking phrases are also mechanical or awkwardly punctuated, as in “First advantage is that ,”. Group the advantages and disadvantages into separate paragraphs, connect each claim to its explanation, and use transitions that accurately show the relationship between points.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the main ideas, with relevant expressions such as “work harder,” “set big goals,” “pressure,” and “failure is normal.” However, the range is limited and some choices are inaccurate or unnatural, which can make meaning less clear. For example, “meet up” is not the natural expression for achieving expectations, and “take steps that's against their will” is vague in this context. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “cab” for “can” and “Childrem” for “Children,” as well as the informal “alot.” Aim for more precise collocations and check spelling carefully. Using terms such as “meet expectations,” “feel pressured,” and “set ambitious goals” would make the discussion clearer and more appropriate for an academic essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentence forms, including the conditional “If some children are not told to try hard they won't even bother trying” and a contrast introduced by “On the other hand.” However, the range remains limited, and frequent errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction sometimes make the ideas difficult to follow. Examples include “can easily be corrected, swayed and been put,” “First advantage is that,” and “they will able to learn.” The long sentence beginning “when young people see their colleagues” also has an unclear structure and punctuation. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses; check that verbs agree and that each sentence has a complete, correctly formed verb phrase.

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