Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

IN SOCIETY, MANY PEOPLE TOLD TO CHILDREN THAT THEY CAN ACHIEVE EVERYTHING IF THEY GIVEN THIER BEST FOR THESE OR THEY DO HARD WORK. MEANWHILE, THERE HAS PLENTY OF BENEFITS AND DISADVANTAGES OF GIVING THIS MESSAGE TO TEENAGERS.

DISCUSSING THE BENEFITS OF TELLING CHILDRENTS TO THIS MESSAGE, ONE OF THE BENEFIT AMONG ALL IS THAT CHILDREN WHO AT THEIR TEENAGE THEY PERSUDE THIS LESSON FOR THEIR ENTIRE LIFE. TO JUSTIFY IT FURTHER, IN CHILDHOOD, CHILD HAS ABILITY TO TAKE ALL LESSONS FOR THEIR REMAINING ENTIRE LIFE AND THEY USE AS POSITIVE WAY. FOR INSTANCE, SOMEONE WHO HAS FEELING THAT THEY WILL ACHIEVE ACHIEVE EVERYTHING BUT THEY ALSO KNOWS THAT THIS REQUIRES LOT OF HARDWORK. ANOTHER BENEFIT IS THAT CHILD WILL DO HARDWORK WHEN THEY NEED SOMETHING AND THEY NEVER TAKE ANY SHORTCUT IN LIFE. TO BE MORE PRECISE, WHEN PEOPLE TAKE ANY SHORTCUT THEY WOULD EITHER MAKE MAJOR PROBLEMS OR THEY TAKE OTHERS' PLACE BY WRONG MOVE.

HOWEVER, THERE HAS MANY DISADVANTAGES, ONE OF THE DISADVANTAGE IS THAT INDIVIDUALS THINK THAT THEY SHOULD GET ANYTHING THAT WAS NEVER TRUE SOMTIMES. TO BE MORE SPECIFIC, SOMTIMES PEOPLE SHOULD TAKE WRONG PATH IN THEIR LIFE AND THEY THINK THEY WILL GET EVERY CONTROL BY TRYING HARD. FOR EXAMPLE, MANY CHILDREN BELIEVE THEY SHOULD ACHEIVE HIGHER POSITION AND THEY DO HARDWORK BUT THAT TIME THEY ARE NOT RIGHT FOR THAT POSITION AND WHEN THEY NOT GET THAT POSITION AFTER THEY UPSET AND THEY DOUBT THEMSELVES. MOREOVER, MANY PEOPLE THINK THAT BY TRYING SO HARD THEY GET CHANCE TO MEET GOD AND THIS IS WRONG BECAUSE SCIENTIFICALLY THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE.

TO CONCLUDE, THIS HAS PLENTY OF ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES BUT I WOULD STRONGLY SUPPORT THAT PEOPLE SHOULD TOLD THIS MESSAGE TO ALL THE CHILDRENS BECAUSE THAT CAN HELP TEENAGER FOR THEIR ENTIRE LIFE THAT HARDWORK IS VERY CRUCIAL AND SECONDLY CHILD WILL BUILD KNOWLEDGE THAT THEY GET SOMETHING BY ONLY TRYING HARD.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question and make your position clear in the conclusion: you support giving children this message because it may encourage effort and learning. The benefits paragraph also identifies perseverance and avoiding shortcuts, while the disadvantages paragraph raises unrealistic expectations and disappointment. However, several points are only partly explained. For example, the claim that children may take a “wrong path” is unclear, and the example about trying to “meet God” is not clearly connected to the message about effort and achievement. Develop each point by explaining how the message leads to the outcome, and use examples that directly illustrate its advantages or disadvantages. This would make the response more complete and persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. The reader can follow the broad progression, and signposts such as “However,” “For instance,” and “To conclude” help identify the stages of the argument. At times, though, linking phrases feel mechanical or are followed by ideas whose connection is not clear. For example, “To be more specific” introduces a point about taking a wrong path without explaining its relationship to unrealistic expectations. Some references, such as “this message” and “that time,” are also vague. Make the links between claims and examples more explicit, and use pronouns only when their reference is unmistakable.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “hard work,” “shortcuts,” “higher position,” and “doubt themselves,” and you attempt to express abstract ideas about expectations and achievement. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make the meaning difficult to follow. Phrases such as “persuade this lesson,” “get every control,” and “meet God” do not express the intended ideas naturally in context. There are also noticeable spelling and word-form errors, including “thier,” “somtimes,” and “childrents.” Build a more precise set of topic vocabulary and check spelling and collocations; this will help readers understand your points without having to infer your meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including clauses introduced by “because,” “when,” and “that,” and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction can make the reader work to understand the message. For example, “many people told to children” lacks a correctly formed verb pattern, while “when they not get that position after they upset” has missing auxiliary verbs and an incomplete clause. Subject–verb agreement is also inconsistent, as in “there has many disadvantages.” Practise building accurate basic clauses first, then combine them using subordinate clauses. Proofread specifically for complete verbs, agreement, and sentence boundaries.

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