Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In some societies, parents and teachers often encourage childern by telling them they can acheive anything in life if they work hard enough. This message can have both positive and negative effects. While it helps childern to develop confidence and devotion, it can also create unrealistic expectations and put them under unnecessary pressure.

On the one hand, this message has several positive effects on childern. Firstly, it helps them become more confident and believe in themselves. When childern think that hard work can bring success, they feel encouraged to try new things and face difficult conditions. Secondly, it teaches them not to give up easily. For example, if a student fail in one exam, he would try harder for the next time instead of losing hope. This may leads them to generate a positive attitude in life goals.

On the other hand, this message also has some disadvantages. Firstly the students may believe that work hard is the only way to success. While success also depends on other factors like money, opportunities and personal abilities. Now if a student work hard and still fails then he would be disappointed and lose confidence. Also it creates some extra academic pressure on students that they may think that failure is only their own fault.

In conclusion, telling childern that they can acheive anything by work hard can make them more confident and hardworking. However it can also create some pressure and unrealistic expectations. So I firmly believe that parents should tell them to work hard for acheiving their goals but also teach them that failure is the part of normal life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both the advantages and disadvantages and give a clear overall view: the message can build confidence and persistence, but may also create pressure and unrealistic expectations. The example of a student trying again after failing an exam supports the benefit, while your discussion of opportunities and personal abilities adds a relevant qualification. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained. For instance, “This may leads them to generate a positive attitude in life goals” is unclear, and the disadvantage about pressure would be stronger with a specific explanation of how children might respond. Develop each main idea with a clearer cause-and-effect explanation or example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion that restates your position. Sequencing is easy to follow, and signposts such as “On the one hand,” “Firstly,” and “In conclusion” help readers navigate the argument. This organisation is effective, though some linking is mechanical because several points begin with “Firstly” or “Secondly.” There are also places where the relationship between sentences needs clearer handling, such as “While success also depends on other factors,” which is left as a fragment rather than connected to the preceding claim. Use a wider range of transitions and make links between claims and explanations more explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “confidence,” “unrealistic expectations,” “academic pressure,” and “opportunities,” so your meaning is generally clear. There is some repetition of “message,” “students,” and “hard work,” and several word-choice or spelling problems reduce precision. Examples include “devotion” where “determination” would fit better, “generate a positive attitude in life goals,” and repeated misspellings such as “childern” and “acheive.” Some phrases are also unnatural, including “work hard is the only way to success.” Aim for more accurate collocations and vary repeated terms; careful proofreading would also help ensure that spelling does not distract from your ideas.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including conditional structures such as “if a student… still fails” and contrast with “While success also depends on other factors.” Most of the argument remains understandable, but some grammatical errors occur in verb forms, agreement, and sentence construction. For example, “if a student fail” should be “if a student fails,” “This may leads” should be “This may lead,” and “if a student work hard” should be “if a student works hard.” The sentence beginning “While success also depends…” is incomplete, and “failure is the part of normal life” needs an article adjustment. Practise checking subject–verb agreement and ensuring each subordinate clause is attached to a complete sentence.

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