Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In some contemporary ways , sometimes childrens are told that they can get or achieve their goals if they work hard.In my opinion this message have some advantages and also disadvantages.

First of all , Childrens are the shine of our country. What they learn from their childhood,they can work based on those learnings, If they do hard work in childhood they can do obviously good things in their future.

Moreover there are some advantages of this speech , like if they are learning hard work in their childhood they do not fear any critical situation in their whole life. They can cop up with any situation with their hard work. Neither can beat them easily. No one can hurt them as well. Also They will be strong competitive of the world. Nowadays children are very attentive of their education or their personal life. Today's Gen-z are better than the old generation also Alpha generation will be greater than the Gen-z. So it only happens for the hard work.

On the other hand, there are some disadvantages of this message. Multitude of children are doing wrong things in their life. The large number of parents are forcing their child to do hard work , to achieve too many knowledge, and want to establish their children at the teenage. So , Some child can not take it easily and distracted from the easy life and do bad activities like taking drugs etc.

So Doing hard work is better based on childrens capability.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both advantages and disadvantages and give a relevant overall view in the final sentence: hard work is beneficial when it matches a child’s capability. The advantages include resilience and preparation for future challenges, while the disadvantage is pressure from parents and possible harmful behaviour. However, the position is not consistently clear: the opening says the message has both benefits and drawbacks, but the conclusion shifts to the value of hard work rather than directly judging the message. Several claims, such as children being “strong competitive” and “no one can hurt them,” are broad or unclear, and the link between parental pressure and drug use needs explanation. Develop fewer points with specific reasoning and examples, and make the conclusion answer the question directly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph on advantages, a paragraph on disadvantages, and a concluding statement. Transitions such as “Moreover” and “On the other hand” help signal the change in direction. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven. The advantages paragraph moves from childhood learning to resilience, then to competition and generational comparisons without clearly connecting these points. Some linking is mechanical, and references such as “this speech” and “it” are not always precise. The final sentence is very brief and does not clearly bring together the discussion. Group related ideas, explain how each supports the main point, and use clearer links between claims.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “critical situation,” “competitive,” “capability,” and “disadvantages.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate enough to make meaning unclear. For example, “the shine of our country” does not express the intended idea naturally, “cop up with” is not the correct expression, and “establish their children at the teenage” is difficult to interpret. Repetition of “hard work,” “children,” and “life” also limits flexibility. Aim for precise, natural phrases such as “cope with challenges,” “future success,” and “put pressure on their children,” and check spelling and word forms before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use some longer sentence forms, including a conditional idea about what children may do in the future and a contrast introduced by “On the other hand.” However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently in basic sentence construction, agreement, articles, and punctuation. Examples include “this message have,” “childrens are,” and “if they work hard.In my opinion,” where agreement, plural formation, and sentence boundaries need attention. The sentence beginning “The large number of parents are forcing” also has an agreement problem, while several clauses are joined without clear punctuation. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then build longer sentences with controlled clauses and consistent punctuation.

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