Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

To achieve goals in their lives, every culture uses different methods to motivate their children. Some culture told their children that through hardwork anything can be achieved in life. This has its advantages like a child will not count luck and other factors for becomig successful.

The culture of inhibiting the idea of trying hard in a child has advantages. This idea will make a child a harworking. This kind of a child would not look at other factors like luck and religious conviction to get success in life. This child is not lazy. The hard working child can be more successful than an intelligent child. This has been by multiple competitve exams in Pakistan. In these exams, harworking students were able to beat intelligent students.

This idea of hardwork has its own disadvantages. A child mental aptitudes matches a specific field of an area. If a child mental aptitude does not match a specific area of work and sports, he cannot excel in that area through hardwork. For example, the profession of law require someone who is an extrovert. So, an introvert will not be able to excel much in the filed of law even through hardwork. This is the same in the sports. Some people are naturally good at some sports while some are not. So, a child whose mental aptitude does not match any field, he would try to do it hardwork; this would cause anxiety in him when he fails to get the desire result.

In conclusion, trying hard is one of the way to motivate a child. Its advantage of making a child independent thinker instead of relying on luck for outweigh its adavantage of causing anxiety in a child when desired resuts are not achieved even through hardwork.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both the advantages and disadvantages and maintain a relevant focus on the message that effort can lead to success. The advantage is linked to persistence and not relying on luck, while the disadvantage is illustrated through mismatches between aptitude and fields such as law or sport, and the anxiety that may follow failure. These examples make the response relevant. However, some points are not fully explained: the claim that a hard-working child can outperform an intelligent one is supported only by a brief reference to competitive exams, and the conclusion’s comparison of the advantage and disadvantage is difficult to follow. Clarify how the message can motivate while also setting realistic expectations, and develop the examples more precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. This helps the reader follow the broad direction of the argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes repetitive or unclear. For example, the advantage paragraph repeats that the child is not lazy and does not rely on luck, while the transition from aptitude to anxiety in the disadvantage paragraph needs a clearer explanation. Some linking phrases, such as “So” and “This idea,” are used mechanically, and the conclusion’s reference to “its advantage” and “its disadvantage” is hard to interpret. Use clearer topic sentences, connect each example explicitly to the main point, and make references unambiguous.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to discuss motivation, ability and outcomes, including terms such as “aptitude,” “extrovert,” “introvert” and “anxiety.” These choices show an attempt to express more specific ideas than basic statements about success. However, the range is limited by repeated use of “hardwork,” “child” and “success,” and several word forms, spellings or collocations are inaccurate, such as “harworking,” “mental aptitudes matches,” and “get the desire result.” These errors are noticeable and sometimes make the intended meaning less smooth, although the main ideas remain understandable. Build a wider set of accurate expressions for effort, ability and achievement, and check spelling and natural word combinations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “If a child mental aptitude does not match… he cannot excel” and a relative clause beginning “whose mental aptitude.” This gives the response some structural variety. However, errors in agreement, articles and sentence construction occur across the essay and can make parts difficult to read. Examples include “Some culture told,” “A child mental aptitudes matches,” and “the profession of law require.” The final sentence is also structurally unclear, particularly the comparison between the advantage and disadvantage. Review subject–verb agreement and possessive forms, and divide long or awkward sentences into clearer units. More consistent accuracy in these patterns would strengthen the argument.

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