Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Most of people believe that if you try hard for a thing you can ultimately achieve that thing or goal and children are asked to work hard for it. They expect their children to work so earnestly and if that goal is not acheived it could result in that childs' heartbreak. No doubt working hard is the key but that goal shouldn't be made to look as success. The main advantage of hardworking is that if a person tries and not gives up he may become closer towards acheiving his goals. He knows what it takes to be here at this place where he is now. The disadvantage can be that life does not always gives you chances so you may face a failure.

On the one hand, children are taught from teenage that if they want to acheive something they must have to work for it and earn it. For example, if you want to make it to the top of the class you should be studying more. And obviously if you try hard and work honestly you can acheive this and make your parents proud. Also working towards something builds a sense of responsibility in person. So, he becomes disciplined in his life.

On the other hand, if a person tries hard and couldn't acheive something he may start questioning his own worth. For instance, a person tried hard, gave his best throughout but he couldn't pass the test. He will be heartbroken and would feel like all his struggles went in vain. In some cases parents even do not care about the child's mental and physical health and expect them to keep going.

In a stark juxtaposition, I am of the view that no doubt working hard is very crucial one can not achieve success without this but the meaning of success should not be the achievement of goal but the path followed and a person honest intensions. I personally believe that the disadvantages of this encouragement outweighs the advantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both advantages and disadvantages and give a clear overall view that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. Relevant benefits include becoming more disciplined and responsible, while the discussion of disappointment and pressure on a child’s wellbeing explains possible harms. The examples about reaching the top of the class and failing a test help make the points concrete. However, some ideas are asserted rather than fully explained: for example, “life does not always gives you chances” is not clearly connected to the message children receive. The opening also shifts between hard work bringing success and merely bringing someone closer to a goal. Develop this distinction and explain more precisely how the message can motivate while also creating unrealistic expectations.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph on benefits, one on drawbacks, and a conclusion. The contrast signposts “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” make the main organisation easy to follow, and the examples generally appear beside the points they support. Some connections are less clear or mechanical, however. The opening moves quickly from hard work to heartbreak and then to the idea that a goal should not be treated as success, without showing how these claims relate. “In a stark juxtaposition” is also an awkward transition into the conclusion, where the argument is summarised rather than developed. Use clearer links between claims and explanations, and make references such as “that goal” and “this encouragement” more precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “disciplined,” “responsibility,” “heartbroken,” and “struggles went in vain,” which helps communicate both sides of the issue. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “stark juxtaposition,” though this expression does not fit the concluding point naturally. Several spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision, including repeated “acheive,” “earnestly” where “diligently” would be more natural, and “honest intensions.” Some phrases are also awkward or repetitive, such as “achieve that thing or goal” and “make it to the top of the class.” Aim for accurate spelling and natural collocations, and choose vocabulary that expresses the specific idea rather than repeating “achieve” and “goal.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including conditional structures such as “if a person tries hard and couldn’t achieve something” and clauses beginning with “if” and “that.” The overall meaning is usually understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. Examples include “Most of people” (missing an article), “life does not always gives you chances” (subject–verb agreement), and “a person tried hard … but he couldn’t pass” (tense consistency within the example). In “if they want to achieve something they must have to work,” the modal construction is incorrect, and several long sentences need clearer punctuation. Practise articles, agreement, modal verbs, and consistent tense, while dividing longer sentences so that each relationship between ideas is clear.

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