Band 7.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-07-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 7.5)

Children in numerous traditions are frequently preached that they can achieve anything their heart desires if they put in a sufficient amount of effort. This does play a significant part in the child's academic and professional life, but the drawbacks it can cause in certain situations cannot be ignored.

At the outset, the fact that saying such a thing can boost a child's motivation and morale is the reason why many teachers and adults advise children to work hard. Praising a child constantly about their intellect has been proven to make the child lazier to achieve more. Therefore, using this approach instead makes the child realize that anything in this world cannot be achieved merely by being gifted or innately smart. It makes them aware that constant practice and hardwork is the key to boost their academic and then professional performance in the future.

In some cases, chidren who have been instilled with such values tend to overwork and ignore other significant aspect of their lives. For example, a child might think that all his value is based on how hard he his working or how obsessed he is over achieving something. This might lead to the child experiencing a pang of guilt whenever he is indulging in other social or extra-curricular activities. In the future, such children also fail to establish a work-life balance. Consequently, their families feel ignored and it becomes a cause of hostililty in relationships.

While the approach is extremely advantageous, parents should make sure that they also teach their children to balance all aspects of their lives. Moreover, making sure that the child feels appreciated at all levels of academic performance is a way of establishing a good sense of self-worth.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.5

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. The position is clear throughout, and the ideas are generally well-developed. For instance, the argument regarding motivation is supported by the idea of shifting focus from innate talent to effort. The disadvantages are also well-articulated, specifically the risk of burnout and the impact on work-life balance. However, the development could be slightly more nuanced; for example, the transition between the benefits of hard work and the potential for overworking is logical but could be more explicitly linked to the 'message' mentioned in the prompt. Overall, the response covers all parts of the task well.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the use of cohesive devices such as 'At the outset', 'Therefore', and 'Consequently' helps guide the reader through the argument. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the advantages from the disadvantages. While the flow is generally smooth, some of the transitions between sentences could be more sophisticated to reach a higher band. For example, the link between the second and third paragraphs is functional but could be improved with a stronger contrastive marker to highlight the shift from positive to negative implications.

Lexical Resource — Band 7.0

The vocabulary is sufficient and generally appropriate for the task. You use some good collocations such as 'academic and professional life', 'establish a work-life balance', and 'sense of self-worth'. There are some minor inaccuracies, such as 'preached' (which usually implies a religious or moralizing tone) instead of 'taught' or 'told', and 'hostililty' (spelling error). However, the range is adequate to convey complex ideas clearly. To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary and ensure that word choices are consistently natural in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. You show control over complex sentences, such as 'The fact that saying such a thing can boost a child's motivation and morale is the reason why many teachers and adults advise children to work hard.' There are occasional errors, such as 'anything in this world cannot be achieved' (which is slightly awkward phrasing) and 'hardwork' (should be two words). Punctuation is generally accurate, and these minor errors do not impede communication. To reach a higher band, aim for a greater variety of complex structures and ensure consistent accuracy in subject-verb agreement.

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