Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-07-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In the modern era, parents are interested to cultivate good traits in their children. They are taught vital skills from their childhood only. In lots of culture, the children are learned that they can gain everything they want through hard working. This has several pros and cons.

On one hand, working hard has numerous benefits. First and foremost the children builds resilience, they understand to view failure as a temporary setback rather than permanent. Second, it boost motivation, they feel self-motivated and take challenging task and remain persistent toward their ambition. Further, it increases self-confidence among them, they believe success is possible through perseverance and work.

Nevertheless, having numerous advantages it also have some drawbacks as well. Success is not only depend on the hard works but also on social, economical, and personal factors. If person try to hard enough to achieve whatever he want but, he do not feel motivated, willingness and confident he might not gain anything. Moreover, some socioeconomic reasons are also matters, such as income of household, background of their family and many more. Sometime, children committee suicide as they do not achieve their goal after burning mid night oil for instant, recently some students suicide because they did not score good marks in a prominent medical entrance exam.

To recapitulate, teaching children about hard working is good things but parents and teacher should also train them who to cope failures. By saying failure is not a end of journey but stepping stone toward success.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the essay is 249 words long, failing the 250-word minimum requirement, which results in a penalty. While the ideas are relevant, the development is somewhat superficial. For example, the point about socioeconomic factors is introduced but not fully explored in relation to the prompt's core theme of 'effort'. The conclusion is also quite brief. To improve, you should expand on your arguments with more specific examples or deeper analysis to ensure you comfortably exceed the word count and provide a more comprehensive discussion.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the argument. You use some cohesive devices like 'First and foremost', 'Second', and 'Nevertheless'. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by mechanical phrasing and some awkward transitions. For instance, 'By saying failure is not a end of journey' is a sentence fragment that lacks a clear connection to the previous sentence. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each sentence flows logically into the next without relying on repetitive structures.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there are several instances of incorrect word choice and collocation. For example, 'children committee suicide' should be 'children commit suicide', and 'burning mid night oil' is an idiom that is slightly misused here. You also use 'hard working' as a noun phrase, whereas 'hard work' would be more appropriate. While you attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary, the errors occasionally distract the reader. Expanding your range of collocations and checking word forms will help improve your score in this area.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that affect clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the children builds', 'it also have') and article usage (e.g., 'In lots of culture'). Additionally, there are punctuation errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'from their childhood only'. While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic grammatical accuracy and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would be highly beneficial.

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