Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-07-24
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 7.0)
Unanimously, the phenomena of in some cultures to encourage children by telling them that they can achieve anything through hard work. Although this message can motivate children to become determined and confident, it may also create unrealistic expectations. This essay will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of this belief.
On the one hand, iniating with the pros of the same, the first and foremost key benefit of telling chilfren that success comes from hard work has several benefits. First, it encourage them to develop perseverance and a positive attitude toward challenges. Instead of giving up after failing, they are more likely to keep their chin up and continue improving. For example, a student who perform poorly in mathematics may study harder and eventually acieve excellent grades. Second, this belief helps children build self confidence because they learn that sucess depends largely on their own effort rather than luck.
On the other hand , this message can have some negative consequences if taken too literally. Not everyone has the same abilities, opportunities or financial resources. Even with great effort, some goals may remain out of reach due to factors beyond a person control. Consequently, children who fail despite working hard may feel disappointed and believe they are not good enough.Therefore, children should also be taught to accept failure as a natural part of learning and to set realistic goals.
In conclusion, encouraging children to work hard can develop determination, confidence and resilience. However, it is equally important to remind them that success is influenced not only by effort but also by talent, opportunity and circumstances.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 7.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 7.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.5
The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. The position is clear from the introduction and maintained throughout the essay. Ideas are relevant and supported with examples, such as the student in mathematics. However, the development is somewhat brief; the essay could be improved by providing more depth regarding the psychological impact of these messages on children. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points. Overall, the response covers all parts of the task well, though it stays within a fairly standard structure that limits the depth of the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the advantages and disadvantages. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', 'First', and 'Consequently' are used to guide the reader. However, there are some minor issues with flow and phrasing, such as the opening sentence which is a sentence fragment ('Unanimously, the phenomena of...'). Despite this, the progression of ideas is clear and easy to follow throughout the text.
Lexical Resource — Band 7.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate and appropriate for the task. The student uses some good collocations like 'unrealistic expectations', 'perseverance', and 'natural part of learning'. There are a few minor errors, such as 'iniating' (initiating) and 'chilfren' (children), which appear to be typos. The range is sufficient to convey the intended meaning clearly, but there is limited use of less common or sophisticated lexical items that would be required for a higher band score. The tone remains formal and consistent.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'the phenomena of in some cultures to encourage' (which is syntactically incorrect) and 'a student who perform' (subject-verb agreement error). Punctuation is generally functional, though there is a missing space after 'Therefore,'. While these errors are noticeable, they do not impede communication. To reach a higher band, the student should focus on ensuring subject-verb agreement and refining complex sentence structures to reduce the frequency of minor errors.
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