Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-07-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Accordingly, it is generally seen that in some cultures, people often say to their childrens that by working hard , they can get anything. I tend to mention some of the possible problem and suggest some considerable solutions.

In the first place, the world is growing day by day and people are trying very hard to compete. That's why in many societies, people often tell their children to work very hard which is a good thing. children in young age don't know what is best for them so they need an attention from their elders and it make them confident, relaxed and focused for their well being. Futhermore, in our community, people made a trend to work hard so that they can achieve their dreams, instead of focusing on smart skills which does not require much energy . Thus, it is pertinent to say that they lack enough knowledge of how a person can achieve everything in life.

In the second place, parents often built so much pressure on children . For instance, children take everything so serious like if by working very hard, they can't get the reward . They went into depression and lose interest and they started feeling like they are losers, they can't do anything in life. It has a lot of disadvantages in one's life.

In a nutshell, after considering all the above mentioned arguments and we can reach a logical conclusion that we should tell children that working hard is good thing but if we can't get the reward it does'nt mean that our work is wasted. We achieve anything through work hard but not everything.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages. However, the development is somewhat superficial. For instance, the argument regarding 'smart skills' is unclear and does not directly relate to the prompt's focus on the 'anything is possible' message. The conclusion introduces a nuanced perspective, but the overall position could be more clearly articulated from the introduction. The response covers the requirements, but the ideas lack the depth and extension required for a higher band score. The introduction also incorrectly mentions 'suggest some considerable solutions,' which was not part of the task instructions, indicating a slight misunderstanding of the prompt requirements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'In the first place,' 'Furthermore,' and 'In a nutshell,' though some transitions feel a bit mechanical. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the advantages and disadvantages. However, the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the second paragraph where the connection between 'smart skills' and the main argument is disjointed. Overall, the flow is sufficient to guide the reader through the argument without significant difficulty.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice, such as 'people made a trend to work hard' and 'take everything so serious.' The student relies on basic vocabulary and struggles with collocations. While the meaning is generally clear, the range is limited, and there is little evidence of less common lexical items or idiomatic language. To improve, the student should focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and improving their grasp of English collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('it make them confident'), pluralization ('childrens'), and article usage. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary spaces before commas and periods. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable and detract from the overall quality of the writing. The student needs to focus on basic grammatical accuracy and proofreading to eliminate these persistent errors.

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