Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-07-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In some nations Childers known that they can achieve anything if they can doing hard work. there are more advantage over the disadvantage of this statements. both the merits and demerits are discussed in the following paragraphs.

To begin with, there are so many parents things that if they can don hard work than they can achieve all the goals and ambition of their life if they doing hard work than they get physically and mentally become a strong person. Following that, they are struggle were much for achieve their dreams and become a successful person for their healthy and wealthy life style. Apart from this, in some nation most of individuals says that they can do anything if they doing so much struggle in their working part and become developed so much talents. For example, a research says that most o person are doing hard work to achieve their life goals or to complete their dreams.

On the other hand, a few individuals in some nations thighs that hard work is not only important thighs to achieve their goals but also smart work is as much as significant. Besides this, also some time children are discouraged with their work because they doing so much hard work but their skills are not developed so they can not achieved their goals.

In conclusion, if Childers have both hard working strategy and skills then they can become a successful person in the life. In my suggestion it is important to having the skills with doing the hard work.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages. However, the development of ideas is limited and often repetitive. For instance, the argument regarding 'hard work' is restated multiple times without significant expansion or depth. The position is clear, but the supporting points lack specific examples or logical progression, relying on vague statements like 'a research says'. To improve, you should focus on developing each point with clear, distinct reasons and relevant examples that directly relate to the psychological or practical impact of this message on children, rather than repeating the same concept in different words.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'Following that' and 'Apart from this' are used in ways that do not always logically connect the sentences. Additionally, there is a lack of variety in linking words, and the flow between ideas is frequently interrupted by grammatical errors. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider range of transition signals (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'conversely') and ensure that each sentence logically follows the previous one to create a smoother narrative flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive, with frequent errors in word choice and word form. For example, 'thighs' is used incorrectly instead of 'things', and 'doing hard work' is repeated excessively. There is also confusion between parts of speech, such as 'healthy and wealthy life style' used as an adjective phrase. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas precisely. To improve, you should practice using synonyms and collocations, such as 'perseverance', 'diligent', or 'attain objectives', and ensure you are using the correct word forms in your sentences.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'most of individuals says'), verb tense (e.g., 'if they can don hard work'), and sentence structure (e.g., 'it is important to having the skills'). The reliance on simple sentence structures is high, and attempts at more complex sentences are often marred by errors. To improve, you must focus on basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring that subjects and verbs agree and that you are using the correct verb forms after modal verbs or prepositions.

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