Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-07-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 7.0)

In some countries, parents motivate their children to believe that they can achieve anything in life if they become passionate about doing it. While this trend offers certain advantages in terms of an easy path and a better life, it also brings notable disadvantages such as pressure and problems with time management that should not be overlooked.

One of the main advantages is finding an easy path to achieve success. If a child works hard to achieve a particular goal, then he or she must have finally found a path that leads to achieving that goal. For example, if a child wants to become successful like Ratan Tata, then if he or she spends nights working for that, then they will finally become successful. Furthermore, it also leads to achieving a better life in the future. While some children are addicted to drugs or something like that, if a child works hard towards their goals, then they will be able to provide a better life for their family.

Despite these advantages, there are certain drawbacks. A significant drawback is pressure. Sometimes, the parents put too much pressure on their child to achieve goals in their life. For instance, the parents force their children to work hard to get good marks on their exams, which in turn leads children to suffer from various diseases at a very young age. Additionally, forcing their children to work hard can also lead to poor time management. If a child becomes too busy with their work, then he or she will not be able to spend time with their parents and grandparents, which might also lead to poor family bonds.

In conclusion, motivating children can be beneficial for creating a path to achieve their goals and also leads to creating a better life in the future, but it also carries a risk of busy schedules and taking too much pressure. In my view, parents should continue to motivate their children while also looking at the following aspects.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. The position is clear throughout, and the ideas are generally relevant. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For example, the argument regarding 'diseases' at a young age is a broad generalization that lacks specific evidence or logical depth. The example of Ratan Tata is relevant but could be better integrated to explain the psychological impact of the message rather than just the outcome of hard work. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is fully extended with more nuanced reasoning rather than relying on repetitive phrasing.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the advantages from the disadvantages. Cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'Despite these advantages', and 'In conclusion' are used effectively to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and the flow between sentences within paragraphs could be smoother. For instance, the transition between the Ratan Tata example and the point about drug addiction feels abrupt. Overall, the progression of ideas is clear and easy to follow throughout the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to convey their meaning clearly. There is an attempt to use some less common items, such as 'notable disadvantages' and 'passionate'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there is a reliance on simpler vocabulary like 'easy path' and 'good marks'. Some collocations are slightly unnatural, such as 'suffer from various diseases' in the context of academic pressure, where 'mental health issues' or 'stress-related illnesses' would be more precise. Expanding the range of academic vocabulary would improve the score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There is a good attempt at using conditional sentences (e.g., 'If a child works hard... then he or she will...'). While there are some grammatical errors, such as 'the parents put too much pressure on their child' (should be 'children' for plural consistency) and 'the parents force their children', these errors do not impede communication. The punctuation is generally accurate, and the sentence variety is sufficient for this level. To improve, the writer should focus on reducing minor errors in article usage and subject-verb agreement.

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