Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-07-25
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 6.0)
In some cultures children afreMany parents believe that encouraging children to work hard will help them achive success in life.Although this message has several benifits ,it also has some drawbacks.
On the one hand ,telling childrenthat they can achive anything through hard work can increase their confidence and motivation.They are m ore likely to belive in themslvesand continue trying when they face any difficulties.as a result they develop qualities such as determination,patience etc.which are valued in bothj education and future careers.This positive attitude can help children become more independent and resilient.
On the other hand,this message m ay create unrealistic expectations.In reality,success does note depend only effort.Factors as natural ability,financial background,health and opportunities also play important roles.If children believe that hard work alone gaurantees success,they may feel diapponted or depressed.they blame themselves when they fail.even if the situation is beyond their control.Futhermore,some children may work exessively in order to achive impossiblegoals,which could lead to stress or burn out at a young age.
In conclusion ,encouraging children to work hard has a clear advantages because it builds strong confidence and perseverance.However,it is also important to teach them that success dependson a combination of effort,ability and external circumstance.This balanced messagecan help children remain motivated while also having realistic expections.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt, maintaining a clear position throughout. However, the essay is significantly under the 250-word minimum requirement, which limits the depth of the arguments provided. While the ideas are relevant, they are somewhat underdeveloped due to the brevity of the response. To reach a higher band, you must expand on your points with more specific examples or detailed explanations to ensure the response meets the length requirement and fully explores the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay follows a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the advantages and disadvantages. However, there are issues with mechanical errors in punctuation, such as missing spaces after commas (e.g., 'benifits ,it', 'hand ,telling'). Additionally, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat basic. Improving the flow between sentences and ensuring consistent spacing would significantly enhance the readability and coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but there are frequent spelling errors such as 'afreMany', 'achive', 'benifits', 'themslves', 'gaurantees', 'diapponted', and 'exessively'. These errors are distracting and indicate a lack of proofreading. While you attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'resilient', 'perseverance', and 'unrealistic expectations', the range is limited. To improve, focus on accuracy in spelling and try to incorporate a wider variety of collocations and more precise academic terminology.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly regarding subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'success dependson') and missing articles or prepositions. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several instances of missing spaces after punctuation marks. While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors in basic grammar and mechanics prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on sentence construction and careful editing for small errors will help improve your score.
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