Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-07-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In some societies, children are often told that hardwork is the key of achieve anything in their life. This essay will discuss merits as well as demerits of this trend of giving pupils this message.

There are some benefits of the think that often argue about if children try hard enough so it is possible to motivate them regarding to future goals. To demonstate it, in this modern era, children are aware from education is not easy whenever it is about competition because they need to develop their cognitive skills in particular field. For example, businessmen had face many obstacles in their life but without hardwork it may not possible to become successful. Therfore, children should follow the right path and try to keep best by facing problems.

However, scholars do not avoid some drawbacks of thi trend because they also need consistency with hardwork. To explain it, somtime they do not get achievement, even though how much afforts they put in that goal or work. For instance, only workforce is like a weak bridge, for make it stong folks should need patience as well as consistency. As a result, they can achieve every dream in their curriculum. Additionally, they should understand the right path.

To conclude, there are some advantages of this topic like improve cognitive skills, become independent, gain problem solving skill as well as get confidence for their goals, while pupils should never avoid drawbacks like immense work is not enough because they also need consistency and patience.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt, fulfilling the basic requirements of the task. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention motivation and cognitive skills as advantages, and the need for consistency as a disadvantage, the arguments lack depth and specific, well-explained examples. For instance, the reference to 'businessmen' is vague and does not clearly connect to the core argument about children's development. To improve, ensure that each point is fully extended with clear reasoning and illustrative examples that directly relate to the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices like 'However', 'For instance', and 'To conclude' to link ideas. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where the logical progression is hindered by awkward phrasing, such as 'There are some benefits of the think that often argue about if children try hard enough'. Improving the variety and naturalness of your linking words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one will help you achieve a higher band score.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'hardwork is the key of achieve' (should be 'key to achieving') and 'aware from education' (should be 'aware that education'). You rely on relatively simple vocabulary and struggle with accurate word forms. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and using more precise academic vocabulary to express your ideas more naturally and effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('businessmen had face'), incorrect preposition usage, and awkward sentence construction ('for make it stong folks should need'). While these errors do not completely prevent understanding, they are frequent enough to cause some difficulty for the reader. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence patterns and proofreading for common errors like verb tense consistency and article usage before attempting more complex structures.

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